Best of Byron Katie

Have you ever felt like a stranger in a foreign land, or even in your own neck of the woods?

I've been in France for 8 months. It's interesting living in another country for so long and not speaking the language, ho hum... I'm taking French class by the way, but still struggling to speak. A lot of time I feel like maybe I came from another planet, maybe Venus, and landed smack dab in the middle of the French Riveria.

Not always nice in Nice, or is that a thought?

I've met some really welcoming, warm, kind people here and I've also had encounters with the Devil, namely, one of my infamous French professors (the other two were literally angels). So when I walk in a room I'm always a little worried, and frankly I just don't like feeling this way anymore. I want to be my normal confident self, but without the language, I just can't quite seem to muster my usual Self. She shys away, waiting for the familiar confused reaction that feels like, "I've just been spotted again as an alien." It's the Sorry I have no clue what you are saying response,  "Are you an alien?" "Well no I didn't realize I was... but on second thought yes perhaps Madam / Monsieur, I quite well feel like one today." 

Thoughts Create Feelings, so thinking I was an alien was not helping me...

I understand that my thoughts create my feelings, my feelings drive my actions, and my actions create the results I get in my life. I teach this stuff all the time to my clients right? Well, I sure get to practice what I preach while I feel like the alien that I truly sometimes am here. So I found this quote the other day by one of the teacher I've studied, Byron Katie, that I decided to adopt for my time here in France. It goes like this: 

"When I walk into a room everyone loves me they just don't know it yet."

-Byron Katie

Sometimes I find what I call my "holy grail thought" and this one hit the mark of my third eye like only a good ol' 11 minute kundalini meditation can do. Thank you Bryon Katie, you dynamic woman you, you have changed my life forever in France. When I think this thought, instead of feeling like a weirdo here I get to feel LOVE. Let's just repeat it for the sake of fun:  

 -BYRON KATIE

-BYRON KATIE

Now when I walk into a classroom, a store, a restaurant, a shop, or out the door of the villa I am staying in I get to feel loved because people just aren't aware of how they will love me when they get to know me! Truly what this thought does is reminds me, "I'm ok, I'm lovable, even when I stick out like a sore thumb and I speak garble." And that my friends is the magic of thought work!

Get some of your thought work groove on, I promise you, you'll feel better. Here are some more of my absolute favs by Byron: 

"When I seek your approval, I don't approve of the Me that is seeking the approval"

"My experience is that I don't need someone to complete me. As soon as I realize that-- everyone completes me."

"Good News! Whatever you Fear, will never happen and has never happened Now."

"It's not your job to like me, it's my job to like me."

"Place only your kindest thoughts on everyone you experience today. Meet yourself."

-- Bryon Katie

I hope you got some gems here. A little mindbendy, but perfect for those times when you feel like an alien. 

Love to you all. My hope is that you practice the art of self-acceptance always. 

When Amazing Women Speak

When Amazing Women Speak

I believe that we all have special gifts to share with the world — that we all have a purpose, OR two, OR three. What are yours? Are you living in alignment with your authentic self, that true self beneath your personality, your persona, your roles and responsibilities in life? Do you have a great sense of meaning and depth in your life, in your relationships, and in your work? Well, you can! I firmly believe this to be true. I empower women to reconnect with their authentic self, so that they can allow that part of themselves to be the compass in guiding them in the direction of their greatest joys, passions and fulfillment. 

Say Goodbye to Sandra Dee, Your Inner Good Girl

Say Goodbye to Sandra Dee, Your Inner Good Girl

Your inner good girl could use some vixen.

Would you rather live your life pleasing and being the good girl, always saying yes, when you really mean no? Kinda like Sandy’s character from “Grease.”

 It’s actually “Okay not to be Nice all the time.”

If this simultaneously shocks you, but also give you a bit of a thrill, you’re in the right place and could use a little side of vixen.

Goodbye to Sandra Dee.

Was the lesson we learned from the movie Grease? You know the classic story? If not you have to watch it immediately and report back.

It goes something like this, “Good Girl Sandra Dee” has an innocent summer beach romance with Danny. They’re torn apart at summer’s end as she's to return to Sydney. In an odd twist of fate, Sandy ends up staying and randomly shows up at the same high school as Danny. This nice girl’s shocked to learn that Danny’s the school "bad boy," as he had played it cool and “nice,” to win her over that summer.

Sex & The City vs. Fear & Anger?

Sex & The City vs. Fear & Anger?

Are you afraid of being a doormat in your relationships? 

If so, you are probably a good-hearted person who gives so much of yourself, your time and energy in your relationships. But many times, you feel resentful when you don’t get that in return. You might even feel like a doormat at times. 

How the fire of anger and resentment take over the passion you once felt in your relationship

Anger and resentment can start to build, as you try and take care of your relationship as best you know how. You become over-scheduled, depleted and maybe even a little depressed. If this sounds familiar, you’ll relate to this vignette about Sarah’s experience and find that you can make positive changes, step by step, so that you can stop losing time feeling bad in your relationships and start feeling better and more in control today.

10 Ways To Say No Like A Pro Even When It’s Hard…

10 Ways To Say No Like A Pro Even When It’s Hard…

Time and relationships, including the one with yourself, are two of your most precious commodities. Treat them right, by practicing saying no when you mean it.  

Women are programmed to say yes.

As women, we tend to want to do it all. We are biologically designed to be caretakers. We’re taught to be “good girls” and that means taking care of people even at your own expense. We are told that it’s selfish to put your needs first.

We must and we can retrain our brains to be able to say no

How to Ditch Busyness and Produce Your Irresistible Life

How to Ditch Busyness and Produce Your Irresistible Life

Feel like you’re doing a lot and producing a little? Here’s why…

Busy does not = productive time spent.

When you feel busy, like you’re doing a million things, you need to stop and assess how you’re actually spending your time. You will be surprised.

I want you to be the Royal Queen of your time and Energy, so you can create and live your most irresistible life.

Relax, Your Lovability is Innate

Relax, Your Lovability is Innate

All you need is love. It’s so true.

All the happiness available to you comes directly from your ability to love and feel loved. And the best news I have for you is that you create the feeling of love within yourself, nobody else has that power over you unless you give it to them.

So, this is all about taking back your power. Taking back your lovability.

All too often you begin looking for love outside of yourself because you have forgotten a fundamental truth.

How Being a Time Snob Can Chill You Out Big Time!

How Being a Time Snob Can Chill You Out Big Time!

A Time Snob looks down on most of your obligations.

Lots of the time your obligations are just sentences you are telling yourself in your mind, appearing to be reality, until otherwise put in check. Under further investigation, many of your obligations aren’t even obligations. And even if they are, you are always choosing them, to do them, or not to.  

Thinking of your job, spending time with your partner, and paying taxes as an obligation kills all the joy and takes away your potency. You choose these things.

How trash talking about time all the time is costing you time, money and energy and one thing you can do to change that now.

How trash talking about time all the time is costing you time, money and energy and one thing you can do to change that now.

If you've set up an adversarial relationship with time you're always gonna be struggling against it and maybe even forfeit your dreams.

Sadly, most of us go through our lives feeling stressed, anxious, fearful, hurried, rushed, and defeated by our beliefs around time. I know it feels like reality, but it’s just a bad habit. The cool thing about habits is you can break um and replace um with ones that'll help you flourish.

Have you ever stopped to notice how much you complain about time?

 There’s never enough of it

 I don’t know where it all goes

 It’s always running out

 I wish there were more hours in the day

My personal fav...I never have time for a life...

AND... If only I had more time I’d start that dream job, training, coaching program, relationship or family that I’ve wanted, but guess that won't ever happen

PLEASE DON'T SAY THESE TO YOURSELF EVER AGAIN. CLEANING UP YOUR TIME, REQUIRES YOU TO STOP THIS LANGUAGE NOW AND REDIRECT TO MORE SUPPORTIVE THOUGHTS.YOU CAN DO THIS.

What Do Dog Poop, Garbage, and TV Manuals Have To Do With Your Happiness?

What Do Dog Poop, Garbage, and TV Manuals Have To Do With Your Happiness?

"But it's my husband's job to clean up the dog poop and take out the garage!" Is this part of your manual for your partner too?

A "manual," is a list of expectations you have for your most prized relationships. 

People don't come with instruction manuals like new T.V.'s. But you probably don't realize you've got a "manual" for just about everyone in your life. Some manuals are pretty hefty. I know I've had a few that were too heavy to lift on my own.   

Get to know you manuals well and don't get too attached to them.

It's awesome to realize you've got a set of "manuals," because then you get to choose not to let them weigh you down. This may sound crazy at first, but when you let go of your manual you'll feel empowered! 

Should I Book That Ticket to Paris?

Should I Book That Ticket to Paris?

Did you know that each day you make about 35,000 decision? No wonder many of you suffer from decision fatigue. And when you are tired and worried you usually opt for the easy and familiar.

But what I know for sure is that indecision and the easy choice are both fear-based, and unlikely getting you that irresistible life you desire. 

Just yesterday, one of my clients had an opportunity come her way that she immediately thought, “I’m definitely not ready for this.” It happened to be the opportunity to speak at a women's retreat in Paris. Before even considering that this may be a huge step in the right direction, fear seized her and she shut it down immediately. But I ask her to reconsider with my magic weapon lie detector question. 

I WANT to Stop Being Busy, So Why Am I Not Doing It?

I WANT to Stop Being Busy, So Why Am I Not Doing It?

Do you get frustrated with yourself because you can't stop putting more on your plate than you can manage, or you manage it all but you feel completely burnt out, or that you keep feeling dread about how busy and stressed you feel year after year?

Then you need to understand how the motivational triad works so that you can beat yourself up about this less, and understand with kindness how you can help you let go of the negative

Let's Get Comfortable With Discomfort

Let's Get Comfortable With Discomfort

Often times us buyaholics, busy ourselves because we just “DO” without thinking it through. We get so caught up in all of the tasks, or that new training, and that volunteer position that we don’t focus on the big picture.

Consider that what feels important today, is just a distraction from your true dreams and desires. If you examine your to-do list you'll find that some of the items don't even need to be done!

When you get to the end of your life would you rather have used your time to focus on your dreams, what it is that really matters to you, or on your to-do list? No brainer right?
 

Try this 1 tactic this year, and be twice as productive

Try this 1 tactic this year, and be twice as productive

I know what you're thinking as you're reading this, you're wondering what it's about. Well, imagine if your problems could seemingly magically melt away. You could be at least twice as productive as you currently are, right? Let's talk about making this a year where you never lose time and productivity obsessing over a perceived problem in your life again.

Ready for more time, less stress, and more peace? I know I am. Let me explain...and make sure you use this tactic starting today. 

6 Questions to Ask Yourself as You Plan to Live on Purpose This Year!

6 Questions to Ask Yourself as You Plan to Live on Purpose This Year!

Most of my clients are looking forward to having a clean slate, a new year. But how do we mentally close out last year so that we can start the new year clear and focused? What to do with this new start?

I have found that reviewing what happened the previous year can be an illuminating exercise in planning for this one. A couple of important points before you get cracking on these questions:

2018, Just the Best Year of Your Life So Far...

 2018, Just the Best Year of Your Life So Far...

This is what I did in 2018… Make no mistake, I did not mean 2017, I mean 2018…

One of my trusted mentors introduced this idea to me and I want to share it with you know so that you can live 2018, as if you already achieved what you will be aiming for this year.

Trust me this is SO powerful. I want you to do this exercise with me. So, here is what I did in 2018….

Energy Vampires? Get Your Secret Weapon Ready For the Holidays.

Energy Vampires? Get Your Secret Weapon Ready For the Holidays.

Do you think there is such a thing as people who are energy vampires? Not the Halloween kind of vampires, but people who suck the energy from you, exhaust you or make you want to close off?

We are right in the middle of Christmas celebrations, and New Year’s is just around the corner. The holidays can be such a busy time with family and loved ones. Bringing busy schedules, family dynamics, last minute preparations and rich food. There is an energetic exchange going on when we are around so many people and so many expectations. One that often, we don’t realize we have choice in. 

The Best Stocking Stuffer Hands Down: Your Internal GPS System.

The Best Stocking Stuffer Hands Down: Your Internal GPS System.

Did you know that you can use the wisdom of your body to guide you in decision making? From what outfit to wear today, to what man to marry. 

It can be such a busy time, the holidays, and though it’s always important to quiet the mind and feel the body, it’s especially important when life outside ourselves get hectic. 

Do You Have Decision Fatigue?

Do You Have Decision Fatigue?

I’ve been observing from clients lately, and me too really, that a lot of us busyaholics are in a place of “decision fatigue.”

What's decision fatigue anyway?

When you have a lot going on, which for us busyaholics feels like almost always, and you’re not making decisions about things that are on your mind. You’re ruminating over and over about the many different decisions you have to make, yet you may not even be aware of it, or just slightly aware. It might come in the form of a repetitive thought like, "oh no, and what am I going to do about the holidays?" And the energy you’re putting into having unanswered questions on your back burner is tiring you out.