If perfectionism weren’t a problem for you, how would your life look different?
How is your perfectionism holding you back?
If you can’t do it right, DEFINITELY do it!
Whaaaaat? That’s right. If you really want to do something new or excel at something you are already doing, but aren’t because you think you can’t do something right, I’m advising you jump right out and move towards it. In fact, let your desire be your standard for movement, not whether or not you’ll be or look perfect.
When you think about it, perfect really has nothing to do with anything in our lives. Not only is no one perfect, but those who strive to be this way are often very frustrated and in my experience very stuck.
Is your perfectionism keeping you stuck? Newsflash perfectionism is not noble, it masquerades "as if" it is, but it's a dirty pesky time and success robber.
One of the things I see a lot with my clients is how they see their desire for perfection as a good thing. As something that will help them be successful when they get to their “there.” But really what’s happening is they are trapping themselves.
Ask yourself: Would you rather be perfect or do something perfectly, or fulfill your wildest dreams?
Perfectionism is on one side of the river and often times I see that my clients' dreams in their lives are on the other side of that river. Perfection doesn’t lead to their dreams, it actually leads away from them.
And, the thing about perfectionism is, we indulge in it. You are in good company. I'm a recovering perfectionist.
If we pay attention, it doesn’t feel good to be in Perfection Mode. We think we feel better because we’re pursuing the highest of standards, but we don’t really. Perfectionism ends up more of a distraction.
Ok, so even if you’re right, that’s just how I am.
If you are a perfectionist, you probably have a lot of resistance to change, right? Perfection is just another habit that’s all. And we know how FUN it is to break habits, LOL... but it can absolutely be done.
How to change the habit of Perfectionism. How to choose life versus Perfectionism. How to choose to live your life more fully and boldly:
The first step towards choosing life versus perfection is to get conscious of when you are in that mode. To become the observer of your mind. Because in this place, you have choice. You are no longer on autopilot.
My dear perfectionist. I love you. You are perfect in your imperfections and that is the truth.
As if your life depended on it...Set aside 15 minutes, grab a piece of paper and try this:
1. Take one day. Notice when, and in what areas or places, you are trying to be perfect. Maybe it’s work, maybe it’s with your family life, or keeping the house clean, or your appearance. Notice where are YOUR areas. Write them down.
2. Answer “How is perfection working for you?” “Is it getting you what you want?” Really spend a few minutes of quiet time really looking at this question for yourself. Be specific about how it is or is not working. Write all of this down. The act of writing it out will help you get out of your head with it.
3. In this area(s), you have identified answer the question, “What are you sacrificing to make this thing perfect?” Is it your relationship? Your health? Bigger dreams and goals? Peace and balance? Write a little about this. Get it out.
Getting conscious about when we’re in perfection mode and how it really isn’t helping us accomplish the results we’re seeking, puts us in a place to then begin to choose differently.
It’s work to choose differently too. But I guarantee you the results are worth the work and practice of choosing differently for yourself!
This can be a painful topic for a lot of people. I know it was for me. Feel free to email me your thoughts and concerns around this subject. I'd love to help you. I'd love to write more on the subject to assist you in getting to the other side of perfectionism and on towards your dreams. What specific help do you need regarding perfectionism?
Meet your best friend, my lovely perfectionists— her name is "B- work," and she's radical!
Overcoming perfectionism? You deserve it. You are worth it. And B- minus work may be the best gift you can give yourself, and the world, because there are people out waiting there waiting for you to stop being blocked and hiding out with perfectionism. If the idea of doing B- minus work scares you, it's ok, try it anyway. You'll see that for the perfectionist B- minus work is still A work. Give yourself the gift of really committing to B- minus work. I promise you the world will not fall apart. Try it for a week. See for yourself. Let's do this thing. I got your back.
I hope you get closer to those dreams you hold so dear.