Relax, Your Lovability is Innate

All you need is love. It’s so true.

All the happiness available to you comes directly from your ability to love and feel loved. And the best news I have for you is that you create the feeling of love within yourself, nobody else has that power over you unless you give it to them.

So, this is all about taking back your power. Taking back your lovability.

All too often you begin looking for love outside of yourself because you have forgotten a fundamental truth.

That you are innately 100% lovable, no matter what. Imperfections and all.

Too bad we didn’t know this as children, because then we would understand that anyone who treated us as if we were unlovable, or mistreated us in some way was totally wrong about us. Their inability to love had nothing to do with you, but everything to do with their incapacity to love. You cannot make yourself more loveable, because your lovability is already given.  

I was recently at a dinner party with some of my friends here in France. All of the adults were in deep conversation about a business venture. The conversations in France cannot be complete without also discussing the food and wine, namely this evening's tender lamb, cauliflower soup, butter cream mash potatoes, and French wines. Just in case you were curious.

I was intently focused on the rapid-fire French hoping to understand something, when a little cry interrupted my intense concentration. Little 6 months old Émilie wanted to be part of the conversation.

She was tucked away in the corner of the room, sleeping in her little portable bed. She started gurgling musically, as the sound became louder and louder, her mother, went to her and plucked her out of her little bed. When Émilie saw all the adults around the table she starts to kick her legs and gurgle even louder, she smiled and drooled with delight. Then she let out a little excited screech. All the adults stopped turned and looked at her, she grinned with huge happiness at her ability to get their attention, as more drool cascaded down her mouth and onto her fashionable French baby onesie. With her big explosion of laughter that came out next, all of the adults chuckled and clapped in unison as their hearts melted in their own sheer enjoyment of her delight.

I can tell you in that moment everyone at the dinner party was in love with Émilie. We all felt love. Have you noticed this, how adults react to babies? It’s a beautiful thing. But had Émilie’s mom held up a 35-year-old man, I can guarantee that no one would have delighted in his laughter and drool in quite the same way, unless maybe it was Ryan Gosling?

Why is that?

Babies embody that basic truth that we are all innately loveable. They are still naked, so to speak, wearing what the Zen Buddhist’s call the Original Face.  They aren’t trying to be lovable they just are. They reflect back to us our true nature. Babies are a symbol for your unconditioned self, the REAL you, or what I like to call the “soul self.” Little Émilie was not trying to be lovable she just was, it was here natural truth, her birthright, innate.

When you are born, you don’t know the color of your skin, what country you live in, what religious affiliations your family may or may not have. When you are a baby you have not yet been scorned by love, hurt by the cruelty of peers, riddled with self-criticism, carried the weight of society's high demands on your shoulders, or been bombarded with more information in one day than your great grandmother had in her entire lifetime. And you certainly are not trying to get someone to love you yet.

All the happiness available to you comes directly from your ability to love and feel loved..png

Start looking for love from within. When you find it, it will be like a remembering, not an acquiring of knowledge. It is already there. Your lovability is your birthright.

When you embrace your lovability, you are love. You emanate love. Like attracts like. Love attracts love.

It never ceases to amaze me that at the point of conception there are 200 to 600 MILLION little sperm guys that are racing to fertilize the mature egg. Women have about 2 million eggs when they are born. One lucky sperm guy crosses the finish line and fertilizes that special egg that decided to mature that month… and boom, you my friend come into being.

With numbers like that, how can you deny that you are a miracle. You were meant to be here. You are enough. You are a special kind of stardust. A unique snowflake. You are love. You are lovable. You are capable of giving love. You have special snowflake gifts to offer up in your life that no one else quite has.

Answer the following questions.

If you believed without a doubt in your absolute lovability,

  • What could you stop obsessing over?


  • What would you do that you have not had the courage to do?


  • How would your relationships look different?


  • How would you treat yourself differently?


If you have trouble with shifting your mindset on this one, promise me you won’t beat yourself up. It’s an easy concept to understand, but not necessarily easy one to put into practice. I’m here if you need help implementing this! Let’s get you back to your true birthright of complete lovability.