The power of positive self-affirmations to create self-appreciation, self-love & wait for it… the life of your wildest dreams.
Last week I talked about positive self-mantras and asked you to practice a couple of them? How did it go?
Self-affirmations are a little different because they can tend to be more specific to what goals and dreams you are creating and working on right now. They are specifically designed to helped you manifest and attract those dreams. I’m gonna give you the 3 steps below.
What’s the one thing you want more than anything right now? Let’s design you some crazy potent self-affirmations to get you there!
I use these tools with my clients who want to lose weight, make more money, be more organized, realize a long-lost dream, have a thriving work-life and a kick-ass lifestyle they're in love with and so much more!
One woman in our tribe, one of my coaching clients Elena is currently manifesting a healthy, happy, sexy, deliciously supportive and crazy-in-love relationship.
We’ve been working on self-appreciation of course because that’s where all this work stems from. That powerhouse-version of you that you become when you have true self-appreciation and self-love!
When you got it, you are unstoppable!
Yesterday in our session, Elena told me that she mentally rehearsed two of the mantras from last week’s blog (check it out here if you missed it):
I am not my mind or my thoughts, I am the watcher of my thoughts
I have the power to create my life with my mind and the thoughts I choose to think and believe
She told me that it’s been such a relief to practice being the watcher of her mind because she wasn’t even aware of how all of the negative self-defeating thoughts that she was affirming all day long were stealing her energy and making her feel a little down. Awesomely enough she said practicing the mantras helped her shift that drastically and she is feeling more energized and happy. Score! So powerful.
She's one of my clients that's on a mission to truly embody and love herself no matter what. Like many of you in my tribe, she grew up like the majority of us busyaholic, perfectionistic, people-pleasing, overachieving, sensitive, intuitive brilliant big-hearted successful women.
I know that all sounds like a lot of negative descriptors but our weaknesses are just our strengths overused, because it’s true that you all are truly some of the best women on the planet. :)
These syndromes happen because of early programming.
Until you were about 8 years old your brain was in a totally different brain-wave state, one that is closely like that of meditation, and all of us download literally just like a computer downloads a program, just about everything that we saw and experienced.
So this is not to hate-on or blame the parentals, nor is it to excuse behaviors that were truly abusive at the time.
It’s to empower you with the knowledge and understanding of how your mind works so that you can have the life you have dreamed of and the one you 100% have always deserved just because you are human. Got me? I got your back babe!
We develop these syndromes either because we had overly critical early childhood care-takers--- and felt pressured to live up to unreasonable standards, or emotionally absent childhood care-takers--- and felt so fearful because we were emotional alone, left to fend for ourselves emotionally speaking.
In both cases, there is a sense of being alone and unseen in a true way that makes one feel unsafe, unworthy and invalid to one degree of another. When you're a child and you don’t feel safe you constantly have to be on guard for anything that might come your way. When you don’t get to experience real or regular enough appreciation, regard and safety from the adults that are supposed to supply this it's really hard to have self-appreciation naturally as an adult. In essence you were not programmed to know how to do so, but instead were programed to be on your toes at all times in ways that such syndromes like perfectionism and the others I mentioned have you over-doing and seeking outside validation.
Note that other super important relationships that didn't provide us with enough affirming mirroring back of how wonderful we really are can cause these syndromes too, or just serve to reinforce them and our feelings of unworthiness. But you can usually trace the original wound back to childhood.
If you are in the middle of grieving what happened in your younger years- you go woman, because this is hard-amazingly-courageous-and-healing-work... And by all means feel all those emotions and don’t stuff um.
I’m talking about the feelings that accompany true grieving of any loss — anger, denial, bargaining, sadness and finally acceptance. You will come out the other end a changed woman. Capable of more than trying to prove yourself to yourself and everyone else just so that you can consider yourself a valid human being because another person can appreciate you — such as it feels to be seen, comforted, taken-care of and protected.
Good news is you're a full-on-adult-WOMAN now, hear me roar kinda thing, and you can do all that self-affirming I’ve been talking about in the last two blogs on your own. AND you can have amazing relationships with people who totally appreciate you, even if they're not perfect themselves, which they never are.
Even if some are just better-suited and more scrumptious for you than others. You just have to do a little reprogramming of that brain of yours and this is where affirmations can really do the trick.
Know that you can get to work right now on replacing those negative critical self-affirming thoughts with more positive affirming ones. I'll share with you today how this will help you manifest just about anything you desire. So let’s get to it shall we?
Here are the steps to the self-affirming process that will take you one step further from the positive mantras that we practiced last week to creating whatever your ♥️ ’s desire.
Let’s take Elena for example. She manifesting that juicy-delish relationships.
Just insert your THING here, it can be anything:
STEP 1: Create a well-formed affirmation which will basically become your new belief system! Go cowgirl go! Yahoo!
Start with I… write in the first person
Use present or close future tense
Use only positive statements (say it like you mean it - use statements that will be true, not what won’t)
Keep it short and sweet
Make sure it has some punch 🥊, meaning that it's emotionally meaningful to you
I attract a healthy, happy, sexy, deliciously supportive and crazy-in-love relationship
I no longer attract jerks
You can make it more simple than Elena’s like:
I attract loving relationships with ease and grace
I am totally comfortable drawing boundaries
I am and have always been worthy of love, attention and admiration
Note, like the personal mantras from last week — I fully encourage you to to use more general affirmations for everyday life such as:
Everything flows easily and gracefully
I always have more than enough time, energy and rest
Only good things are ahead for me
STEP 2: How to use your new affirmation statements to manifest
Repeat them on the daily, all throughout the day ladies.
- Write them in your phone notes- set a timer three times a day and repeat out loud when your alarm goes off
- Write them on post-it notes and post all over your home and office
- Read them out loud just as you awake and before you fall asleep- this helps program them into the subconscious brain especially during these times when your mind is more susceptible to suggestions
- Make them your favorite electronic device's background
- Feel the feelings of these affirmations as being true already. Just as if they are facts! Imagine that they've already happened and bask in the feeling state as if it's already happened.
- Smile and feel warm and fuzzy when you say them. Know sister that positive self-talk brings positive results— it’s scientifically proven.
STEP 3: When Old Negative Thought patterns start sneaking back in:
- Simply counteract them by repeating your positive affirmations
- Keep up your mindfulness, being the watcher of your mind like I talked about in the blog about self-appreciation.
- Last caveat, know that changing your negative self-talk to positive affirming statements is a HUGE step, and that the goal really is to use this language the rest of your life my love.
Making these changes to your language (and your self-regard really), naturally changes the vibration in your life to a more self-positive one, which will in turn make it EASY, let me repeat EASY to attract more of the same positivity from all areas of your life. The trick is believing it.
Next week I’m gonna give you the tools you need to truly believe it. Don’t miss it.
It’s not magic, it’s psychology and it's what the Navy Seals happen to use before they go into any special mission op. And you know them Navy Seals are a skilled bunch. Just like you will be…
If you have trouble applying any of the concepts I teach, or you want to go deeper sign up for a complimentary mini-session with me. Don’t be scared to talk to me, or get coached if it’s your first time. It’s not scary it’s liberating, having been a coachee myself I can tell you from personal experience! There's no shame in it, everyone needs a coach. XO