Hi, My name is Tiffany and I'm a recovering busyaholic.
It started out innocently enough. I am an ambitious woman. Hey, don't judge, ambition gets a bad wrap. All it means is the desire to do or achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work. So, if you are reading this, chances are you are an ambitious woman too. For me what that means is, once I set my mind to something I make it happen. I love that about myself. However, this strength has also been one of my greatest weaknesses. Interesting how perceived weaknesses are just strengths over used.
Here's the problem
I forgot to add the most important caveat to that sentence above: Once I set my mind to it, I make it happen, or I almost die trying. In the past, for me, this has looked like trying to make relationships work that are clearly not working. So I stay miserable in them for way too long. Or two, pushing past my body's signals to stop and take care of myself, and therefore getting to the point of total burnout. And three, at the beginning of my professional career, trying to fit myself into what I thought a psychotherapist should be and look like. And, therefore denying myself of all of the wonderful opportunities to approach change holistically using, mentoring or life coaching, yoga therapy, NET, and retreats to fully help my clients make lasting transformation on the levels of body-mind-spirit.
I have plenty more examples, but you get the idea. Basically, I busied myself with all sorts of things to avoid feelings, and unfortunately, my alignment with my true Self and my deepest dreams and desires grew further and further apart.
Avoidance of Feelings
All of this because I wanted to avoid feeling sadness, fear, rejection from my peers, or Goddess forbid, failure. Think deep, you probably know why you are busying yourself instead of looking at something that scares you. It's not your fault though, we are conditioned as a society now to be busy. If we are not busy, we are unimportant and lazy. Ahhh, such a bind we get into, no wonder we are all pretzels.
How do we busy ourselves you ask?
By over-working, over-committing, over-giving, over-achieving, over-eating, over-anythinging, numbing out with too much TV, and social media, or getting involved in other people's drama, and the list goes on and on. Like the line goes, "Check yourself, before you wreck yourself." What's your busyness of choice?
You deserve more, you really do
So you see how this starts out innocently, and before we know it we wake up one morning and ask ourselves, "Is this really my life? I thought I wanted these things, but something feels off." The good news is, most of the time it's just a small tweak we have to make to get back in touch with what our dreams really are, and therefore, experience more Joy. Sometimes, it's a complete overhaul, or somewhere in between. But do not fret, I don't care what your mind is telling you, "It's too late now, I'm being selfish to want that, I don't even know where to begin so I'll just stay status quo," etc., etc. Listen to me, you may not believe me now, but You Can have the life of your dreams. I know this for a fact, because once upon a time, I have had all of those thoughts too, and now I have a life that I love, truly.
What would Finding Your Flourish look like? What would make you love your life?
I love my relationships, I love my work, I adore my clients, I love that I get to live part time in French Riviera, I love that yoga makes me feel so good, & I love my lifestyle. I know how to help you love your life too, I know how to help you navigate the circumstances of your life, how to feel your feelings, and not get swallowed up by river of misery, and how to change your mindset to match what it is you truly want without guilt and shame holding you back.
You mean feeling my feelings is the way to my dream life?
I know it's a hard sell to ask you to feel some of these so called, "negative feelings," but guess what, you're feeling them anyway. But they feel comfortable and safe Only because they are Habitual, and so you are not even aware that this is going on. Let me give you an example. A woman has a problem: she really wants to be in a loving committed relationship, but she is afraid of getting rejected. So she quits ahead of time, and she feels rejected anyway! Insert any problem here, insert Your problem here.
Pause and think about this for a moment.
I can hear you right now, "What-huh?" That's right, let me repeat, the feelings that you are avoiding with your busyness, you are already feeling, except you don't have the benefit of your dream life! You might be saying, "But how is that possible?" "Is my mind playing tricks on me...?" Yep, it is, it does that, darnit.
Does this realization blow your mind, because it should?
It's brain science, but that's a story for another time. Your mind wants to protect you, as if you are running from a saber-toothed tiger, but you are not being chased by a tiger, your mind just thinks you are. So, it's a false sense of security to try and avoid feeling feelings you are already feeling. So just know on the other side of consciously feeling those uncomfortable feelings (and instead of trying to cover them up with busyness), is your dream life and oh so much juicy Joy.
So I ask you, are you ready to do the work? Are you ready to come with me on this dream journey to your personal Joy? Say yes to yourself and....