Do you think there is such a thing as people who are energy vampires? Not the Halloween kind of vampires, but people who suck the energy from you, exhaust you or make you want to close off?
We are right in the middle of Christmas celebrations, and New Year’s is just around the corner. The holidays can be such a busy time with family and loved ones. Bringing busy schedules, family dynamics, last minute preparations and rich food. There is an energetic exchange going on when we are around so many people and so many expectations. Often, we don’t realize we have choice in how to navigate this time.
Many of my clients are very empathic people, which means they “are highly sensitive to any energies of other people, places, and also nature. This sensitivity can often cause an emotional and mental rollercoaster.” (sylviasalow.com) It’s a sensitivity that many have felt all their lives, and it can be costly as we let the outer world create chaos in our inner world.
Most sensitive people believe, “there’s just not much I can do about it, I just have to hang on through it.” I’m here to reassure you, it doesn’t have to be that way.
Your road to happy holidays is in your head.
Here’s a powerful secret, you CAN take care of your own energy while with family and friends. Here’s how:
1. Be mindful when you’re around other people. If you have a tendency to take on other people’s moods – first just notice this when you’re with friends or family. Becoming aware that the energy, in a group or place, seems to be impacting you is a key first step.
2. Recognize your physical separateness as a way to help yourself. Take 3 deep breaths and follow your breath all the way down into your body, or find a quiet place for 90 seconds close your eyes and slowly bring your focus from your feet all the way up to your head - bring yourself into awareness of your own physical body. Be aware of the boundary of your actual body as a shield to protect you from what may be coming at you.
3. Do your thought work. Once you’ve become aware, and come back home to your body, to yourself, you’re ready to do your thought work. Imagine entering a room thinking “Oh here we go” versus thinking “I can protect my energy.” Can you imagine the difference in the experience you create for yourself? Doing your thought work ahead of time puts you in the drivers seat of your life. You’ve been there all along, but lose sight of that when you are not remembering to do steps 1 & 2.
It’s not going to feel great when you first try this, that’s ok!
I want to be able to tell you, presto magic, if you do these things you will feel better immediately, but, well no. After taking these three steps, you’ll feel better in the immediate moment, yes, because you’ll be standing in your own power and taking responsibility for your emotional health. But, it’s not going to feel great when you first try to do this, it’s going to feel like work and it’s going to feel uncomfortable. You’re building a new muscle so it’s all about practice, the more you do this the more benefit you feel. You become reliable to yourself.
As with everything I teach, have compassion and kindness for yourself. This isn’t about beating yourself up, or beating others up and being angry with them. It’s about realizing you have more power than you thought, others really don’t make us feel one way or another, and taking back your power of choice when entering a room is one of the best ways you can keep your energy strong, clean and clear.
Don't let your thoughts about how other's affect you bring you down.
Remember you can face the vampire thoughts straight on, "I feel terrible that so and so was angry with me," and/or "So and so gave me a nasty look and made me feel so small, why does she think she can treat me this way?"
What if you let yourself be responsible for how you feel and think, no matter what other people are doing?
You can protect your energy by the thoughts you think in these moments. Try thinking thoughts like:
"I know that's not really about me,"
"That didn't feel so good, but I am not going to let that ruin my time."
"I get to decide how I want to think and therefore feel about any given situation I am in control of my energy."
Don't let your thoughts about what others think, say or do, suck the energy right out of you. You got this... just one step at a time. If you need help join my next comminuty coaching call for support!