The Model - Q & A - The force lies within you, Yodas!

We are not disturbed about what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens.
— Greek philosopher Epictetus

Do you want to be in the driver's seat of your own mind? Do you want to REALLY understand the secret to how to feel better?

Then you have to join me on my free coaching call on Wednesday, July 19, 2017, at 9 am (PT)—sign up now! Because I have really good news for you — the secret to lasting happiness lies within you, not outside of you. This is the most empowering news ever!

A couple of weeks ago I sent out a blog about the "Thought Model," or as it is also called, "The Self- Coaching Model," a simple, but profound tool that I use with all of my coaching clients.

I want to teach you how you can use it and apply it to your life. My mission in life is to help alleviate suffering and give people the tools to direct their lives in a way that is meaningful and hopefully full of many blissful moments of joy.

Recently, I decided to do free community coaching calls once a month, or more, so I could spread this information to as many people as I could. Last week on the community coaching call I could feel how everyone was excited to understand and use this tool in their lives.

But most of us wish we could skip the learning part and just be an expert using The Model right away! Well, the information that will go out after the free community coaching calls are designed to support you in doing just that.

Every month I have a Free Coaching Call. And each month I will share the key learnings and Q&A from attendees of the call. I like to do this because, often, what we talk about ends up being questions a lot of my clients have. And I want to empower you with all the information you might need to start self-coaching.

We jumped pretty quickly into coaching, which was great, and began exploring what was going on for people using The Model. We also explored what was possible for them using The Model. So let’s jump right into the learnings —


1. Coachee: You said the goal is not to feel good all of the time?

Me: Right. Our circumstances are not always going to be pleasant and that’s ok. Often we think we have to change our circumstance to feel better, but that is not the point. We can change how we’re thinking about our circumstances and that will change how we’re feeling, reacting and what results we’re creating for ourselves in that circumstance.


2. Coachee: Is it better to start at Result (the R line) when using the model?

Me: You can start a model at stage (C, T, F, A or R). When you’re first getting the hang of it, I recommend starting with the T line and working down.


3. Coachee: If you’re just beginning should you just focus on a few new thoughts?

Me: Yes. In the beginning, we’re all just kind of having our mind blown by what we’re learning about our thinking in each model. I often have my clients, newer to the thought model, focus on 1-2 new thoughts at a time. Primarily so you can really be present to the process of creating a new thought and the results you create.


Tips —

  • We always have the option to feel differently, but we have to choose a different thought.

It’s as easy and complicated as that.


  • Thinking your new thought is what I call a “mental rehearsal.”

You’re practicing believing the thought right now, and with practice it will become a natural thought for you to have.


  • This isn’t just about understanding The Model, it’s also about relieving our not so healthy stress relief tactics

This model will help you understand yourself better. Which gives you the option to choose in your life.


  • Coaching anyone is going to help everyone on the call.

I see this all the time, when one person bravely steps up to be coached they worry that others will get bored or won’t relate. It’s completely the opposite. We all can relate in our own way and learn from watching another learn.


  • Be sure you pick just ONE thought and just ONE feeling per model.

We’re creative beings, so limiting ourselves to one thought can be challenging. But in order to really get clear on how your thoughts are affecting your life, you want to look at one thought at a time. Often times you will have many thoughts about a topic. And picking any of them will help provide more clarity. Don’t worry about picking “the right” thought. There isn’t one.


  • When you use this tool, be in a place of curiosity about yourself, not judgement.

So many times clients want to condemn themselves for thinking a thought that isn’t helping them, or wondering why we didn't think of this already. This isn’t at all what The Model is about. Honor that you had a good reason for why you’re thinking the thought, even if the thought isn’t producing what you thought it would. Be curious about your whole process, not judgmental. There is nothing wrong with you. You are simply learning something new and in the learning seeing that there might be a better way. Hopefully we’re always learning!


The best advice I can give is “a model a day.”

If you do this you will begin to create purposefully in your life, instead of by default. The more you use this tool, the more you see and the more you get.

And DON’T FORGET – I offer a Free Mini Session. If you’re interested in learning more about the model, exploring one of your own, or creating what you want in your life, grab some time with me.