Sorry for the rude subject line. It’s kinda like when someone's blowing up your phone with texts while you’re concentrating and finally after the 10th time you scream, “What do you want?”— before you pick up the phone to see what’s so earth-shattering.
But I meant it literally. And I wanted to get your attention.
What do you want this year in your life, your relationships, in your business, in your bank account? Do you know?
Happy New Year by the way! In prepping my clients for their goals this year, I’ve been asking some thought-provoking questions, like:
If we meet in 1 year from today, in December 2019, what has to have happened for you to feel happy and excited about the overall progress you’ve made?
What about in 3 years from today, in December 2021?
If you spend a little time with your future self— she’ll tell you.
So you gotta do this exercise and tell me how it goes ok?
I was on a mini session the other day, with let’s call her Laurie, who was freaking out a bit, as we all do, especially this time of year, about creating something new — she wants a loving supportive relationship, to make 6-figures in her business, and not feel like she works non-stop. So, ensued a convo about how to believe this is a possibility for her.
What you WANT is based on your future. To create a new future you have to believe something you've never believed before— otherwise, you recreate the past (from the beliefs you currently have).
Being "Future-Focused” about any subject is awesome and necessary if you don’t want to repeat the past and you want to evolve, grow and change. Remember your brain is wired to stick with the familiar (the things you already believe) because it thinks it’s more efficient. Even if that means an unorganized business, being busier than hell and dating the same wrong guys.
Even if the past was good, why not go for great?
Life’s short. I like to think this thought because it helps me find the motivation to get moving on what’s really important to me. Usually something that scares me— but makes me grow and outwits my brain’s propensity to stay in the comfort zone.
So when I asked Laurie why she didn’t have the work-life balance, the 100K, and the awesome relationship she desires she said, "well because I’ve never had it before and I’ve never done it before.”
This is a lie, your brain tries to tell you all the time about your dreams. It tells you this because it’s trying to keep you safe and efficient. BUT that cannot be further from the truth, what about getting your driver’s license, getting your degree, starting your business, moving to your dream city? You don’t need to know, or already have done those things to make them happen. And furthermore, if you don’t go for the longing of your deep-down dreams usually you’ll start to escape the associated negative emotions by buffering them away with OVER— working, drinking, eating, and shopping etc.
What you need to do is think thoughts that CREATE what it is you want.
If you look at every accomplishment you’ve had, you’ll see that you had a belief that you could do it, before it ever happened. You may not’ve known “the how,” and even if you thought you did, “the how” probably ended up looking a lot different than you’d imagined.
This is the best news.
You just need to believe the new thoughts that you can make your dreams happen. No need to know "the how.” That'll come more naturally when you believe. And you’ll be more willing to go through trial and error when you believe strongly. When your belief in your goal in non-negotiable, trust me, you’ll figure out “the how.”
How to be future-focused and believe new things:
These are the steps:
Live from the possibility of your future self.
What would the you who's already achieved x be like? For example, imagine your goal’s to make a 100K. Ask yourself, what does a woman think about who's already made 100K? I can tell you, she’s not thinking about how to make a 100K, she already knows how. She’s going about her day “as the woman who already made a 100K.” It’s no longer a thought for her to ponder. So that’s how you need to imagine yourself. You’re the woman who’s already made her dream a reality. Now, how do you show up in the world?
Believe, Act & LIVE the part of your future self. This is where it gets fun. It’s like becoming a method actor, but it’s you, once you’ve reached your goal.
Be willing to have missteps and keep believing anyway. You should have an epic failure a week when you’re REALLY going for your dreams.
When missteps happen— never think it has to do with “the how.” It doesn’t. It always has to do with your degree of belief in your goal thought. Do you believe 100% you’ll make a 100K? Because if you do, it's as good as done, and it doesn’t matter “the how.” Be cautious not to get too caught up in believing “the how” of it has any bearing on if you get the result you want, it’ll only seem like it.
Be honest with yourself about your belief. Do you really believe it, or are you just “wanting to believe it?”
Practice the beliefs that will help you achieve this goal. Write them down, do self-coaching models, read them out-loud, embody them, declare and tell everyone you know that you’re gonna make x- goal happen.
Write in your journal as the woman who’s already made her goal a reality. What’s she got to say? Ask her questions and advice.
From a place of 100% believing, take massive action until your goal becomes a reality.
Phew, there it is. Those are the steps. You’re welcome my friend!! ;)
The following exercise will help you live from your future-focused self. Do it. Declare it. Hit reply—and feel free to tell me what your goal is.
WRITE A LETTER FROM YOUR FUTURE SELF…
Who's exactly where you want to be next year, and have her give you some advice. What would she tell you to stop doing? What would she tell you to start doing? What other advice would she give you?
You’ll be amazed by your future self’s advice. It’s some of the best advice you’ll ever get. She’s like your best mentor— but even better, because she’s you.
My future self seems to know exactly what I need to believe, feel, do and get. She’ll usually tell me— “Hey darling, you didn’t have to worry about any of that.” Yep, even the stuff that in the moment seems pretty unbearable. That’ll surprise me every time, but she’s never been wrong.
Where are you going?
Are you on the right path to achieve your goal? How could you get on that path to get what it is you most desire in life?
Jump on a mini session with me if you aren’t sure. You future self in 1-year, 5-years, 10-years, and 25-years from now will thank you for taking this step.
Lots of Love from my future-self to yours.