The universe is always conspiring in your favor.
This is a thought I use daily. It has changed my life. And it can change yours too.
No matter what happens in your life. The good the bad and the ugly. The universe has your best interest at heart.
What if that were true? How would you feel different if you believed this thought? What are you going through right now that you could see as the universe conspiring for your highest good?
My friend is heartbroken.
Just a few days ago she couldn’t see how she could ever feel good about this break-up, she loved him deeply. I cried with her, hugged her tight and spent many nights with her on my terrace in France just letting her talk it all out. I listened to her stories of love, joy, hope, disappointment, misunderstanding, pain and despair.
I watched as she moved through the waves of emotions and was struck by her ability to be brave in a dark moment.
She is courageous I thought. Look at the strength in her vulnerability and ability to feel her way through this.
I told her about some of my stories...
I told her about the universe and it’s kindness to me even in dark times. For me this thought is like the full moon in a dark sky, just like tonight, reminding me to follow the light. To follow the love. To have my own back no matter what. To practice self-compassion, from this place you will see you have more understanding for others too.
I asked her how the universe might be conspiring in her favor.
With eyes full of tears and a simile on her face, she thought about it for a moment. She told me how she learned so much about herself, about what she wants and doesn’t want, about how she was able to love herself through her own mistakes and humanness in the relationship, how even in the face of someone else’s anger and rage she was able to feel love for herself and her partner and set appropriate boundaries, how she took responsibility for her part in things, how she let go of blame, how she tried and gave it her all.
She told me she didn’t regret taking a chance on love.
She told me she was happy, even though she was sad. That she felt love even though she lost at it this time. She told me how she let go and accepted. She told me how grateful and loved she felt by her friends who came out to support her in droves that she hadn’t anticipated. She explained that she was inspired to think and dream about her future and move on, instead of remain stuck in the past and in the pain.
I had goosebumps.
In this relationship she was able to practice all of the concepts that I teach, self-compassion, unconditional love with boundaries and self-respect, emotional adulthood, thinking thoughts on purpose, lovingly accepting another flawed human just for the sake of having someone to love, letting people be who they are, being present and future focused, knowing that no one can “make you feel anything,” and most importantly how you take your power back when you practice these concepts.
Even though there was love, she realized that's not always enough.
And in the end, she decided that she was unable and unwilling to accept someone who was not as committed to the relationship as she was and that she would not allow herself to be treated unkindly and of course all of this with a little touch of spice that's unique to her own heart and personality.
Keep your side of the road clean and you will see more clearly.
She cleaned up her side of the relationship, so she could get clear on what was working and what wasn’t working for her.
She did the work, on herself. She was her best self, flaws and all and she felt good about how she showed up for herself and her partner.
A love story that will last forever is the one you have with yourself.
I’ve got some clients now going through similar stories. Some I coach individually and some as a couple unit. I admire how brave they all are to practice these skills. I watch as each heart begins to open like a lotus flower in full flourish as each learns to truly loves another person by truly loving themselves.
It’s a beautiful love story even if it ends. It’s one that will last forever. Not only does the universe have their back, but now they have their back too. No one else needs to do it for them. It’s lovely to have that, but they can’t count on one person always being there for them, besides themselves. And this is when it feels good to love because you don't NEED the other person, you WANT them. Everything else is icing on the cake.
It’s true, the universe is always conspiring in your favor too.
It doesn’t matter what happens. Like me, you can always change the way you look at the circumstances in your life and you can always find a way that the universe has been on your side. That doesn’t mean you don’t feel negative emotion like my friend, or my clients. You do, and will. But just like I know I have my back and so does the universe, you can too.
I wish this peace for you.
Here's a picture of the full moon from my terrace in France, just as it was last night when I wrote this. Let it be a reminder to you to follow the light acknowledging where the universe is conspiring in your favor. Because when you look for it you will find all of the ways that it really is.