Don't stop because of self doubt. Ever. It’s a lie. Made up by the oldest part of your brain, the reptilian brain to try and keep you safe. It’s on high alert, but you don’t need to be when it comes to believing in yourself.
Many of my clients are already very very successful people, though they may try and be modest about it if you asked them... but each time they want to grow and evolve they have to deal with self-doubt. Of course, I do too. And a couple of points here...
First, I may look very confident to you and I believe I'm a confident person. But it's not because I'm "successful," that I'm confident it's because I've done the work on myself and continue to daily with thought work to overcome doubt and generate confidence. So I’ve been able to prove to myself that I can get the results and outcomes in my life that I desire, one step at a time. So can you!
It's a totally different story than saying someone's confident or someone's unconfident and that's why they get the results they get. What determines your results is how well you deal with self-doubt. It's all about what you believe. No more indulgence in self-doubt. It's not even necessary, especially since it’s a lie anyway! This is some of the best news ever!
Second, I also know HOW to overcome self-doubt by using the self-coaching model and that in and of itself creates massive empowerment and self-confidence. This is a core tenet of what I teach my clients.
If you don't know how, set up a mini session and I'll teach you the secret powers of the model and your mind. It's not so much a secret as it is a tool and a practice that you can apply to literally any situation in life. You usually need a little help to get you going, but then you're off to the races with your powerhouse self. It's so awesome to watch my clients bring to life their dreams that once upon a time they believed were so far out of reach! 👏
Resistant to declaring your dreams... to yourself even, or for goodness gracious setting a goal or two?
The reason you don't want to set goals is that you're afraid of feeling self-doubt and all those uncomfortable feelings associated with it like fear, paralyzation, regret, low self-esteem and generalized “stuckness."
My anecdote to this self-doubt is you gotta be willing to suck!
You've gotta be willing to suck at something in order be great at it!
You've got to be willing to suck... at first to get what you want! Not forever, but you gotta roll with the punches and allow yourself a few mistakes here and there.
The only distance between you and your dreams is an unwillingness to suck.
Not so bad right? It's just some uncomfortable feelings you want to avoid.
What've you stopped yourself from doing because of self-doubt?
Really think about it. Give me a list of 5 things you didn't do in your life because you had a thought or thoughts that created so much self-doubt that you stopped yourself. It can be anything, small or big. Write them down. Wow! Interesting huh?
Did you realize that if you want to, you can have, be or do whatever it is you wrote down on your list of the 5 things that self-doubt has kept you from?
Sometimes self-doubt is so undercover, you may not be very conscious that it's holding you back. Other times you may be so rattled with self-doubt that you're shaking in your boots and not "going for it" and that feels bad. Then the shame sets in and you lose trust in yourself. Insert more self-doubt and a total stall out. Your dreams don't happen, your life's not lived without as much pizazz as you'd like and for what, avoidance of a feeling or two? That's what it comes down to.
The worst thing that can happen is a feeling. Everything we do is because of the way we think it will make us feel.
On your list of 5 are there still some things you desire but haven't done?
For example, If you don't take your business, your relationship, your health, your "whatever it is to the next level" you need to ask yourself if it's because of self-doubt. Unless you LOVE the reason you choose not to go out and do it, you can bet it's self-doubt.
You can believe anything you want to, absolutely anything!
One of my students, let’s call him Tim, is struggling to quit his day job to become an entrepreneur. He's so fearful to give up that security. But he's miserable not doing what his heart truly wants to do. This is not about the grass is always greener, it's about making a goal and believing it's possible and going out and getting the results you want. Once you know how to do it it's not that something is better than another thing, it's that you aren't scared to grow and make new goals because you know how to manage self-doubt. Skies the limit.
I tell Tim just like I’d tell you...if you truly 💯% believed you could be financially secure enough to quit your "ho-hum with a side of optimism job" that never quite gets you that independence and creativity you so desire" you could absolutely become an entrepreneur and make double your income traveling the world 🌎 doing what you love. You could.
Four things are required for this to work:
1) Belief in your goal or dream.
2) Taking massive action from a place of confidence or another positive emotion instead of action from a place of fear.
3) From this belief and feeling place you take massive action until you meet your goal no matter what. Missteps failures and all. It’s a normal part of it all, it’s how you learn what works and doesn’t work.
4) Throughout the way of doing all these steps, you'll be doing the mind management work and your self-coaching to stay the course until you get what you want.
Of course, you might waiver in your decision but you just keep coming back to your belief and work on believing it 💯 % and you take the necessary action steps to get there. I don't care if you fail 50 times trying to figure out your marketing, your business plan — whatever it is. That doesn't mean self-doubt should be believed it just means none of us do it perfectly on the way to our dream. But that doesn't mean you need to stop and quit ahead of time. Nope, you can persevere with the model and mind management.
If you keep going believing your thought which creates a feeling that motivates you to take action from a more confident place, YOU WILL make it happen.
Stay the course!
How do you know how to do something you have never done before? You don't. So your reptilian brain goes bonkers to protect you, making up elaborate lies and spinning stories of tragedy, regrets, embarrassment and loss. Don't believe every thought you have.
What I've learned is that self-doubt is a lie. It means nothing. But like most of us your brain may be screaming to you that you're going to die if you try X,Y,Z. So guess what? You may never do it. But you can, it just takes some self-coaching. You’ve got to be willing to look at your thoughts and choose ones that are brave.
LAST QUESTION FOR YOU?
If you knew you couldn't fail what would you do?
Take 5 minutes and write a brainstorm on that one. Unedited please. Hmmm, good stuff huh?
The only thing keeping you stuck is doubt AND it's a lie. Live your one big life brave, bold and beautifully yours. The only thing holding you back is resistance to a feeling— maybe of failure, embarrassment, etc. But would you rather have played it safe than worked on your mind to believe things you don't yet believe? Either way there is fear and doubt, one gets you somewhere you wanna go, and the other maybe and maybe not, but it's not as deliberate and juicy.
I can coach you on learning these skills so you can gain the confidence in yourself that you absolutely need not to get stuck and shut down in self-doubt! Connect with me and I'll give you some steps today to get you started on your path. I do one free mini session a week, so jump on my schedule toady and get yours. What are you waiting for?