Did you know that you can reprogram your brain to work with you and not against you?
Most of my clients have strong inner critics. So, today I want to teach you a short-cut exercise on how to break the habit of being your current self in all the ways that aren't serving you. As a coach I teach you how to create a new inner dialogue that gets you the results you most want in life.
Did you realize that you have a storyline or script that plays in the background of your mind day in and day out? These scripts run on autopilot and rarely get questioned for their current validity. If you don't know what is going on in your mind, then you can't change it?
When I coach a client I help them uncover all thoughts that make up these hidden scripts that cause unnecessary pain. Only then can you decide if they're even true. Many times a client has a thought that's no longer true for them, but causes them pain.
When we uncover a painful thought together, I simply ask, "Is that even true for you, do you really believe that?" Most of the time when it comes to these scripts the answer is "no, I don't really believe that." Which is so fascinating because it means the thought is only "out of habit," and not because it's a true thought. You see why it's so important to get to these thoughts?
These hidden scripts are things you've been telling yourself for a long time like:
I'm not really good enough.
If I don't strive to be better and beat myself up all the time I may drop the ball and never amount to anything.
I should be doing more.
I'm not as attractive or thin as I should be.
I'm not really all that smart.
I don't really trust myself.
I'll never have a good relationship.
I'm not confident.
Maybe there's something wrong with me.
I can't do what I really want. Dreams are BS.
I won't amount to anything.
Who am I to believe I can do and accomplish the things I want?
I'm not successful enough.
I'm not as loved, admired or as popular as other people.
These inner scripts are a layer below the thoughts you think daily about whatever it is that you are doing and focusing on. They are older, more enduring, long-held beliefs that have become the background noise of your daily life. These mistaken and unquestioned beliefs are the source of so much unhappiness. A client will usually say "ok, I'd like to work on my busyaholic tendencies," and we solve for this, but when we dig deep these are the beliefs that are running the show. These core beliefs about yourself and life are the ones that are getting you the results you currently have in your life. So let's be sure your script is conscious and purposeful.
You know that what you believe usually becomes a reality, so let's get REALLY clear on what you're thinking, and how you can reprogram your script.
So how do we reprogram this inner negative script?
Well I've been talking about this is the last 4 blogs so if you haven't seen them check them out after you read this one. They take you step by step through the process.
This short-cut exercise will have you breaking the habit of these thoughts in a few weeks.
First make a new script. If you've been in the habit of putting yourself down all the time it may be difficult to come up with new ways of thinking. It may even seem impossible to change these thoughts because after all, what the heck do you want to think? If you are stumped I want you to think about someone you really admire. Like your best friend. What would you say about her? You might say something like:
"She's beautiful inside and out, she is mega-successful and whip-smart, she does what she puts her mind to, she is kind, generous and loving, she's cool and fun to be around, I love her sense of style even without trying a lot, she is a good loyal friend, she's creative and innovative, I adore her."
What you see in other people is also usually a part of you that is waiting to be expressed, or lived more fully.
Sociologist and Psychologists have know this for years. It's a survival tactic to want to merge with and be part of the group. So when you describe what you admire and appreciate in your best friend as I've done above, you are basically describing many if not all aspects of yourself. Try it out for yourself.
Next I want you to write out your new desired script. Make it as long as you want, but at least one-to-two paragraphs. Start it out 3 "I love and appreciate you" sentences. Now speak your script into a recording app (they are free from the app store!) that will let you record and playback your new script for about 15-to-20-minute segments.
Record yourself reading your desired script as many times as you need to get to at least a 15-minute recording. Now, every night for 3 weeks play your recording as you fall asleep. During this time your mind is very susceptible to making changes in your prior programming. Within in a week or less you will start to see some pretty amazing shifts.
Keep doing this until you fully believe your script. Know there will be times when you have a hard day and it may be difficult to believe all of your new thoughts 100% but that's OK. It takes some time and some real commitment to practicing your new script that'll enable you to fully believe it.
When I do this exercise with clients they often forget the majority of the thoughts they were having that just a few weeks ago were causing them so much pain and stuckness.
I can't wait to hear how this exercise goes for you. Send me a copy of your script, or let me know how you feel in about a week. Just hit reply to this email.
Good luck reprogramming your mind. When you take the short time to do this work, you'll see that your life will change forever for good.
If you don't do this work, just know you could stay stuck for years and you don't need to do that to yourself when you have these tools available to you here in this blog. If you feel super stuck and unable to do this on your own. I want you to connect with me right now for a free strategy session to get you on the path to where you really want to go today.
When you quiet that voice of the inner critic and put down the whip you have been using to ironically motivate yourself you will discover that self-acceptance and self-love ️ ❤️ will take you to more confidence and success than you thought possible. Making your life your own creation then becomes easy because you are in flow and allowing your creative juices to ooze into any area of your life.
Now look at your script again. Know that all of it you can believe. And now imagine your life in a year from now when you believe all of this to be true. How frigging awesome is that gonna feel? Amazing. Hop to it bunnies.