Got Confidence?

This is going to change your life and here's why. Confidence is the single most important feeling or “tool” that you can use to fuel your dreams. And I’m gonna give you the secret formula to increase your self-confidence today!

I just got back from our second and last in-person Master Coach Training. Where my coach and mentor asked us what’s the difference between confidence and self-confidence. I loved her take on it.

Just a fun little note we flew on a private jet from Dallas to Austin. Hello? See the picture? That was a surprise and so much fun. Here’s a picture of me getting off the jet headed for our two days together so that the best of the best could get into every nook and cranny of each of our minds to uncover all the BS that could be holding us back from making our wildest dreams a reality and be able to do the same for our clients. That’s what’s required to become a master coach - basically master your own mind.

Jet setting for Master Coach Training 2019.

Jet setting for Master Coach Training 2019.

Confidence is the belief that you can do something you have already done before. We have all poured a glass of water so we all think that we can do this. Most of you have driven a car so this is something that you believe you can do.  

But when it comes to self-confidence...

Self-confidence is being secure in yourself and your abilities. It’s your ability to trust yourself, knowing that you can experience any emotion (including failure) without being harmed, and it’s your overall opinion of yourself.
— Brooke Castillo

Believing in yourself even though you’ve never done the thing that you are attempting to do is Self-Confidence.

Maybe you’ve never been able to get your home organized, or your to-do list managed, or your work schedule flowing so that you can make that 6-7 figures you’ve been dreaming of, or your personal style is all over the place and you’re not sure how to present and position yourself as an expert in your field, or maybe you can’t manage having a relationship and running a business, or overall have general work-life balance. All of the things you’ve never done before that you’d like to do require you to have self-confidence.  

For me right now that’s starting my podcast. I’m super excited, and frankly a little scared because I don’t know the exact how’s. But I know I have the self-confidence to figure it out step-by-step. What’s your thing?

I’m a true believer that once you get these areas of your life organized and under control- sky’s the limit baby! And if you have the right mindset it all doesn’t have to be perfect anyway.

Too many times, when my clients first come to me, I see them “failing ahead of time” — which just means you’ve given up before you’ve even “really” tried because the self-confidence needed to fuel your actions to try something new just isn’t strong enough.

Or it’s strong at the beginning and you go for it once or twice, but then you have a setback or two or three and you make mean it won’t even happen for you and you quit. This can start a start-small-quit-stop cycle (repeated) that eventually ends with a BIG-quit. Most of the time you’re not even truly aware that you’re giving up. You just feel helpless, stuck and massive amounts of self-doubt. That’s where coaching helps you get looking at what thinking is stopping you and how to move into limitless self-confidence.

Formula to become unstoppable:

1) fail (and fail again and again…)

2) be willing to feel and process any emotion

3) take Massive action until you reach your goal

1+2+3 = Increased Self-Confidence to go out and make your wildest dreams come true.

Taking massive action just means you will not stop taking action (even if it’s the wrong action - a fail) until you make your goal a reality. It’s a simple formula but requires a lot of you to get super good at failing and feeling emotions. Once you master these tools you’ll be unstoppable.

A short-cut / life hack to self-confidence is to use something that you’ve already needed to have a lot of self-confidence in order to achieve.

What was your thing? You definitely have one. Maybe it was your career. Remember how you knew nothing about your career at the beginning, but you figured it out anyway? That was you using self-confidence. And you can transfer that experience to something else you are wanting in your life that you don’t yet have. Maybe you want to develop a millionaire-mindset, organize your life, mend a relationship, or start a family. You don’t need to know the exact how you just need to have self-confidence.  

Your self-coaching assignment:

  • Rate yourself on scale of 1-10 for both confidence and self-confidence?

  • Why did you rate yourself this way?

  • What would other rate you in these areas? Why?

  • Are these people who know you well, or not so well? It’s interesting to see the difference between varying groups of people and their closeness to you or not and your beliefs about how they see you. Compare it to your beliefs about yourself. How’s it different or the same and why?

  • When you rated yourself, which was higher confidence or self-confidence? Why?

  • What’s the one thing you want to do that you need to develop more self-confidence in order to achieve?

  • Are you willing to use the secret formula (failure + willingness to feel emotion + massive action) to increase your self-confidence and make your dreams come true?

  • Why or why not?

It all comes down to be willing to feel any emotion. And I know you have the big kuhunas to do it. Talk with me if your doubting it.