How many times have you found yourself not asking for money, help, or anything else? We get paralyzed by FEAR—afraid we’ll be viewed as rude, get rejected, or feel embarrassed.
But asking for what you want isn't rude—it’s honest! Chances are they’re not going to think it's rude anyway (and if they do, it has to do with the thoughts in their mind and nothing to do with you).
The worst anyone can say is NO.
You think not asking is "taking care to make sure they don't feel offended by your ask," but that has everything to do with them—not you. They could be delighted by your ask! It could be mutually beneficial—but you'll never know if you don’t ask.
When you're not afraid of rejection, you have a much better chance of making your dreams a reality and getting what you want out of life. Rejection is part of life, and it's NO BIGGIE when you realize it's got nothing to do with you.
Let's say you get rejected for a job, or in a relationship, or by a new group of people. Most of the time, you’re doing your best, putting your best foot forward, right? If you ask and get a no, see if there's a way you could improve, then write it down, and MOVE ON.
Do not dwell and use that "no" as evidence you should never ask again! Rejection has nothing to do with you, who you are at your core. It has everything to do with what other people think—and you can’t control that.
You are whole and completely worthy from birth. We don't go through a stamping process at birth for our level of worthiness. Imagine us all lined up at birth:
"You, worthy "
"You, not worthy"
"You, questionable let's see"
For us control enthusiasts, this can be a hard pill to swallow, but the sooner you accept this, the more liberated you’ll be. Once rejection isn’t about you—and it’s not—you’re free to ask all the time!
Even if you could step-up your game, it still doesn't mean you won't get rejected.
Not fearing rejection helps build confidence and makes you fearless.
And when I say fearless don't mean you eradicate fear from your life entirely, no way, that's not possible. You feel the fear and you ask anyway. Because you understand that the human brain is designed to survive and back in the cave days if we were rejected by the group—we literally could not survive on our own.
That's not the circumstance anymore, but still, the way our brain is wired. So outsmart your primitive mind. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Let’s say you want a raise and decide to ask for it. In order to lessen the likelihood that your ask is rejected, you need to create value before you ask. You’re much more likely to get the result you want when you demonstrate value and over-deliver before the ask.
Make sure you’re providing value and over-delivering ahead of time, so you’ve demonstrated how you add to the company. List 10 ways you can provide more value at your job before asking. This won’t guarantee you’ll get the raise, but it will up your chances.
The key to getting what you want in life is to ASK FOR IT. You want it, right? Why not ask?
Successful/wealthy people ask, and they get good at both rejection and receiving. Being good at receiving is another key part of building a wealthy life. You must be able to receive to be wealthy!
Imagine asking for something you want every day.
I challenge you to make a practice of this for an entire month. It can be big or small. You could ask for a helping hand, a discount, a raise, a date—anything. Assuming there’s a 50/50 chance, then half the time you’ll get what you want. How cool is that?
The alternative is never asking, where you’ll lose 100% of the time, because you didn't want to feel rejected, embarrassed, or some other negative emotion. Remember—emotions are just vibrations in your body. They can't hurt you, but not asking can!
So what is it you currently want to ask for?
Identify your ask and write it down right now. Don't wait.
Now make of list of 10 ways you can add value before you propose your ask.
A little story of an ask that put 50 Euros in my pocket.
The day I wrote this blog I got an oil change in France for the first time. I had an appointment two weeks earlier that I needed to reschedule. At the time, the cost was 50 Euros. When I went back it was 95 Euros. I challenged myself, I asked in my limited French if I could get the discounted rate—guess what? It was a "yes."
Imagine if you do this every time you pay for something how much you could save in a month and even a year!
What would you do with that extra money—save it for an investment, hire a coach to help you with your online business, take a vacation with your honey, pay for a matchmaker to help you find your person who's wondering where the heck you've been all their life? These are just a few of the things my clients have done when they start asking and creating wealth.
When you do the challenge this month—add up all your saving and look what you've created. Now, what are you gonna do with the wealth you have created by adopting a new money mindset?
You go, woman!