retraining ourselves

Don't Waste One More Minute When Your Brain Tells You, "You Can't Do Hard Things". It's a Lie.

Don't Waste One More Minute When Your Brain Tells You, "You Can't Do Hard Things". It's a Lie.

First things first, if you have been secretly worried that you may be incompetent that’s not it. That thought is a brain error! Repeat brain error! 

It’s not your fault that you keep starting and stopping or get into full-blown freeze mode when you try new or hard things, it’s your brain’s fault.  

Your brain is well-intentioned. Your brain's wired to protect you from danger. It doesn't want you to try new or hard things. It thinks you could die. It's programmed to protect you from being eaten by the next wild animal that comes around. It tries to conserve your energy at every turn in case of an emergency. But last time I looked no wild animal was out to get us anymore. Unless you are vacationing somewhere exotic and get lost from the crowd. This used to be a good thing because it kept our species going and allowed us to survive. But now it doesn’t serve us.  

If You Didn’t Say “I Don’t Know” How Would Your Life Be Better?

If You Didn’t Say “I Don’t Know” How Would Your Life Be Better?

How often do you hear yourself say “I don’t know,” either out loud or in your head? So many of us do right? But it stops us from accessing the wisdom that you have within. When I heard the concept that we all have the answers within us, I felt annoyed 😠. I initially thought, if I had all the answers then my life would be easy. But having the answer doesn’t = easier. But it does = you having a pretty darn good shot at making your dreams a reality. Without the confusion, you can bask in the sunshine of clarity and not the clouds and thunderous storms of angst. It’s so easy to have all the right answers for everyone else right, your best friend, your partner, your family? So why's it so hard to do that same thing for yourself? Because confusion, the kind we’ve been indulging in for a long time, gets you stuck in a labyrinth of "I don’t know’s,” with no end goal in sight. 

Celebrate Your Power to Choose and Overcome Learned Helplessness

Celebrate Your Power to Choose and Overcome Learned Helplessness

Have you forgotten about your ability to choose? How do we do this?

When I was studying psychology at UCSB for my undergrad degree, I learned about a study conducted in the 1960’s by the famous psychologist Martin Seligman, which clearly illustrates why and how we forget our ability to choose. 

5 Ways an Abundant Mindset Will Set You Free of Worry, Fear & Doubt

 5 Ways an Abundant Mindset Will Set You Free of Worry, Fear & Doubt

Imagine a life where you don’t worry about things not working out for you in any way imaginable!

Imagine the suffering you would cut out of your life. So much right?

Imagine what could be possible if you believed everything, and I mean everything would work out for you!

This is why I am talking to you today about adopting an abundance mindset because truly it can make the difference between a happy life and a scared one. It's totally possible to make this shift and fairly easy once you get enough practice at it.

3 Secret Sauce Steps to Creating Just About Anything You Can Imagine!

3 Secret Sauce Steps to Creating Just About Anything You Can Imagine!

Self-affirmations are a little different than the mantras we did last week because they can tend to be more specific to what goals and dreams you are creating and working on. They are specifically designed to helped you manifest and attract those dreams. I’m gonna give you the 3 steps just below.

What’s the one thing you want more than anything right now? Let’s design you some crazy potent self-affirmations to get you there!

I use these tools with my clients who want to lose weight, make more money, be more organized, realize a long-lost dream, have a thriving work-life and a kick-ass lifestyle they're in love with and so much more!

Self-Appreciation: What Are You Affirming?

Self-Appreciation: What Are You Affirming?

Why is self-appreciation so important?

Well, in short do you want to feel irresistible about your life? Do you want to have big dreams, go for them and make them happen, do you want people in your life that truly see and appreciate you?

Ok, my friend this is where we have to start. Self-appreciation is the secret sauce to your delicious joyful life you deserve. It’s completely at your finger-tips.

Like I tell my clients if you are 100% committed to this work, you will make whatever you are committed to happen in your life. And you will get there without burning yourself out and feeling unhappy if you allow yourself some fierce self-appreciation.

The Key to Success is Always Courage!

The Key to Success is Always Courage!

So, what is the one thing holding you back from success?

FEAR. The dreaded feeling.

What do you need to solve for fear? COURAGE...

Every day I purposefully do something that scares "the you know what" out of me.

Because I am currently living in the French Riviera, that includes learning French, figuring out how to communicate about getting something delivered to my place, how to find the right light bulbs when all of them have burnt out, how to get my cell phone fixed, how to meet new people every day to grow my community of friends. Just to name a few.

I do something scary every day because I want to develop my COURAGE MUSCLE.

Got conflict? Need some skills? Peace out!

Got conflict? Need some skills? Peace out!

Are You in Need of Highly Effective Conflict Resolution Skills? We all are… :)

Too many relationship are suffering from conflict. It’s sad really because I see conflict as unresolved issues from one's past that get acted out with the person you love the most in your life. The conflict is almost always destructive to one degree or another. The problem is we are all just messy humans trying our best, but no one teaches you how to manage your mind, no matter what your brain has downloaded from you past experiences. You and your partner don’t need to be a victim to your patterns of thinking that were established when you were a child and you are not doomed to repeat those patterns, but you must understand and manage your mind.

Why Patience Isn’t a Virtue and Chick-Flicks Keep You in the Present Joyful Moment

Why Patience Isn’t a Virtue and Chick-Flicks Keep You in the Present Joyful Moment

Many clients will tell me, “if only I could have more patience in my relationship with my partner, or with my kids, or even myself, everything would be so much better.” 

The definition of patience is “the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like and the ability to tolerate delay.”

Patience, as it's defined above, sounds like a tall order to me. 

It sounds vitreous but also pretty painstaking and maybe even a little gruesome when it comes to relationships. 

What if there was a better way to relate than to practice patience?

10 Ways To Say No Like A Pro Even When It’s Hard…

10 Ways To Say No Like A Pro Even When It’s Hard…

Time and relationships, including the one with yourself, are two of your most precious commodities. Treat them right, by practicing saying no when you mean it.  

Women are programmed to say yes.

As women, we tend to want to do it all. We are biologically designed to be caretakers. We’re taught to be “good girls” and that means taking care of people even at your own expense. We are told that it’s selfish to put your needs first.

We must and we can retrain our brains to be able to say no

How Being a Time Snob Can Chill You Out Big Time!

How Being a Time Snob Can Chill You Out Big Time!

A Time Snob looks down on most of your obligations.

Lots of the time your obligations are just sentences you are telling yourself in your mind, appearing to be reality, until otherwise put in check. Under further investigation, many of your obligations aren’t even obligations. And even if they are, you are always choosing them, to do them, or not to.  

Thinking of your job, spending time with your partner, and paying taxes as an obligation kills all the joy and takes away your potency. You choose these things.

How trash talking about time all the time is costing you time, money and energy and one thing you can do to change that now.

How trash talking about time all the time is costing you time, money and energy and one thing you can do to change that now.

If you've set up an adversarial relationship with time you're always gonna be struggling against it and maybe even forfeit your dreams.

Sadly, most of us go through our lives feeling stressed, anxious, fearful, hurried, rushed, and defeated by our beliefs around time. I know it feels like reality, but it’s just a bad habit. The cool thing about habits is you can break um and replace um with ones that'll help you flourish.

Have you ever stopped to notice how much you complain about time?

 There’s never enough of it

 I don’t know where it all goes

 It’s always running out

 I wish there were more hours in the day

My personal fav...I never have time for a life...

AND... If only I had more time I’d start that dream job, training, coaching program, relationship or family that I’ve wanted, but guess that won't ever happen

PLEASE DON'T SAY THESE TO YOURSELF EVER AGAIN. CLEANING UP YOUR TIME, REQUIRES YOU TO STOP THIS LANGUAGE NOW AND REDIRECT TO MORE SUPPORTIVE THOUGHTS.YOU CAN DO THIS.