Are you wasting time worrying about your spending habits? Learn how to spend from a place of empowerment, integrity and abundance.
All overspending comes from a place of scarcity.
Think of retail therapy. Are you spending money to feel better?
You know that rush you get when you buy something? Your brain actually gets a dopamine hit when you buy something from a place of wanting to feel better. It’s the same as when you eat that 3rd cookie, instead of just the one you planned on. You ask yourself, “Why did I eat that when I knew I only wanted one?” It’s always because you wanted to feel different or better than you were feeling—even if you’re unaware of it. Eating sugar in concentrated amounts also gives your brain the reward of dopamine. Eating and spending can both be addictive. Just like alcohol, drugs and social media can become addicting.
Many of the new entrepreneurs I work with have a tendency to consume trainings and information because they think that’ll make them feel better prepared to take their businesses out into the world and do things they’ve never done before.
So they delay action. Can you relate? “If I just get this one more training then I’ll understand how to do it right and that’ll help me feel more confident and less unsure AND then I can take action”. But it doesn’t work like that. Yep, initially it feels good because of the dopamine hit you get from buying the new training— but how many times has overspending and consuming made you feel better in the long run? It doesn’t. In this case, it’s a short term fix that distracts you from what you already know to do and try.
Now, think about not spending your money because of fears. Are you not spending money so that you can feel better, or something different than you do now— like security and peace of mind?
Imagine you feel stuck, in a relationship, with your work, or with your health. Have you decided not to go to therapy, get coaching, or go to the chiropractor when you know it would really benefit your mental or physical health? Or you’ve been wanting to go back to school and get a higher education, but you’re afraid to go after your dreams because of fear of spending the money and not having enough?
In both of these situations, overspending and not spending (because of fear), you’re coming from a scarcity mindset and that’s always disempowering. You think that if you spend or you don’t spend in that circumstance that you’ll feel better or differently than you do now.
But that’s only ever true in the short run and not because the action of spending or not spending MAKES you feel something. It may create a new thought that makes you feel a new feeling, but it’s just a buffer if it come from scarcity.
When you feel abundant your capacity to have and receive is great and there's less of a need to spend or not to spend in order to feel a certain way. That’s true freedom.
Spending or not spending’s an action—it’s something you do with your money.
How you feel when you spend your money matters more than how much money you spend or don’t spend. Your thoughts trigger your feelings. Your feelings are what lead to the action or inaction of spending. Your actions or inactions always determine the results you get.
For example, a result can be the amount of money you have in your bank, the amount of money you make in your business, or the amount of money you spent on things you love vs. things you don’t, and/or the amount of debt you’re in.
What I want for all of you is to “choose” to spend your money (or not), not because of how you think it’ll make you feel—because that’s short-lived…. but because you’re in true congruence with your reason for the decision. If you spend money I want you to feel joyful, in integrity and empowered. Same goes for when you don’t spend money.
In order to do this you must pay attention to how you feel about spending (or not spending) your money. Your mind will be blown away by how abundant and empowering it feels to think about spending as a choice and to like your reasons for making that choice. You’ll have much more agency over your financial well-being and much more trust in yourself.
Answer the questions below to get a better understanding of your relationship with spending money.
Make a list of the top four purchases you still feel good about— even six months after the fact. How do you feel when you think about these positive purchases? The way you know it’s a good purchase is that you’d decide to spend your money on it again if you had to choose again today.
Some of my examples are my home, my car, my education, my coach training, my NET training, my computer, books I’ve read, a home security system, taking care and maintenance of my emotional, physical and spiritual health with mentorship, coaching and yoga, some of the beautiful things I adore in my home and have for years— like my custom made red couch, and trips I’ve taken.
Make a list of the top four worst purchases you’re still feeling negative emotions about. How do you feel when you think about these purchases? You’ll know it was a regrettable purchase because when you ask yourself if you’d spend money on this again, your answer is—- “no.”
For some of my entrepreneurs, it’s a trainings they’ve purchased when they felt like they “needed more information to do it the right way,” but they didn’t have the time to really do it or they just consumed the information and did nothing with it, and felt even worse and more confused than when they started. For some of my “retail therapy” clients— they regret all the clothes they’ve got stuffed in their closets and “useless things” they’ve had around the house—while they long to have a more streamlined wardrobe, a more manageable home and life.
Make a list of your consistent monthly expenses—you can think about these expenses as the “fuel for your life.” How do you feel when you pay for each expense on your list?
For example, Include all expenses, such as your rent or mortgage, bills, food, insurance, yoga/gym membership, beauty expenses, childcare, emotional hygiene in the form of therapy or coaching, etc.
Finally decide which expenses you want to continue to pay for and feel good about. You’ve got to find a way to love your consistent expenses to have a healthy relationship with money, time and spending. A way to do this is to think about the consequence of not spending on this item and your “good reason” for choosing the spending.
These are some of the ones I often hear from clients—-paying insurance keeps you protected, getting business coaching keeps you learning, growing, making more money and being an example of what is possible, paying for rent or mortgage provides you with a home, getting regular check-ups helps you stay healthy.
When you practice getting more aware of how you spend (or don’t spend your money) you’ll waste less time with worry, remorse, and confusion.
You’ll have more agency over your money, your time and your life in general.
You won’t need to spend (or not spend) money to “feel” a certain way.
You’ll get truly empowered about how to use your money, and you’ll feel integrity and abundance about the '“choices you make.”
I’m telling you all it’s life changing and some of the most important work you can do.
It’s not your money’s job to make you feel a certain way. Rather It’s your mindset’s job to feel a certain way because of the thoughts you decide to think regarding how you “choose” to spend (or not spend) your money. Do this work today and change your mindset about spending. Never tell yourself the lie that you can’t afford something again. Instead decide to feel empowered by “choosing” or “not choosing” how you spend your money.
I’m here if you need help. If you feel stuck or you have questions email me.
Happy abundant choosing.
