Who’s ready to wrap up 2020 and brush their hands of this year and just get on with a new year that’s hopefully going to be one of the best yet? That may sound odd during a pandemic, but how can you find yourself thriving “despite” or “even though” things are as they are?
First, you can believe it’s possible for you to thrive, even if you’re really in the thick of it now. I don’t mean that you should deny your feelings or experiences at all. But, in addition to your “now” or “before” experiences, practicing holding out the possibility for yourself that things can and will be better is empowering.
What helps is allowing and processing emotion, while still holding out the hope that you can thrive no matter what negative emotions may be there to process. If you’re not sure how to process emotion you can learn how! Check out this post and if you need support please get it. There’s no shame in seeking out a professional to support and help you along your journey. That can be the most loving thing to do.
As eager as you may be to say goodbye to this year, before you can truly move on it’s a good practice to spend some time reflecting on this year. Get a pen and paper and spend at least 10 minutes in review. This will help you transition more easily to a new year and you will feel better and consolidate all the learning of this year so that next year truly can be better. So get ahead of the game and start taking time to review this year now. Even if it seems like a tough year to “look” at, aim to look at finding the silver lining in things. How you grew and what you learned. There are some gems even in the hardest of situations that can help you feel more confident and capable of peace of mind and whatever else your heart desires.
I have found that reviewing an entire year, can be an illuminating exercise in planning for the next 12 months. A couple of important points before you get cracking on these questions:
First, it’s tempting to judge your experience or get down on yourself about what did or did not happen this year. But don’t forget that the ultimate form of self-care is never beating yourself up under any circumstances. I know it can be tempting but trust me, it really serves no purpose whatsoever.
And 2020 has been a year where many of us had to pivot, change plans, revise plans, scrap plans, reinvent plans and then pivot some more. So no judging yourself about what did or did not happen, got it?
Second, if you had a lot of successes it is also common to keep looking ahead and not really take in and appreciate yourself for everything you have done. Pause here, breathe and take it in…linger in the good. It’s good for your neurochemistry and overall feeling of well-being in the world.
So, let’s look at what happened last year.
While you do this I want to encourage you to have gratitude for the good and the bad because all of it helps guide us on our path… and enables you to close the chapter in a healthy way to say goodbye to this year.
Remember as you do this, not to argue with the past.
It’s done, and it happened just as it was supposed to. You know how I know this? Because it happened. And that’s the reality we have to work with. There’s nothing to change because it’s done and over and we don’t have a time machine last I checked. Instead of putting your efforts into trying to be perfect, which isn’t possible anyway, put your efforts into learning from your experiences instead. What worked and didn’t work for you. What can you take from such and such experience that will help you?
When I do this exercise, I like to be in total emotional adulthood. That means I take responsibility for all my feelings, behaviors and thoughts. This is empowering and will help you not to feel like a victim of your circumstances, to blame, to feel guilty, or go into self-pity mode. If these emotions come up accept them, accept yourself, and practice self-compassion as you learn to process negative emotion. Then take your power back, and decide how YOU want to think and feel about what’s happened regardless of what others have done.
You are a powerful woman. Own it, work it, apply it. I’m here to help.
Wrap up 2020 by asking yourself these 6 questions:
What lessons have I learned this year?
What results did I create this year?
How did I change and transform?
If I could talk to myself one year ago at the start of last year, what would I say to myself to encourage or offer helpful advice?
How can I use this information when planning for the new year?
Did I live my life on purpose or did I just seem to let life happen to me?
Don’t think you accomplished much last year? That’s a lie, my friend. Look again…
Ask yourself these questions again. Because I can assure you that every single one of you learned a lot this year. You created a lot of results in your life even if you don’t see it. It's good for you to realize that YOU ARE producing results because as long as that’s happening, you might as well produce the ones that you want instead of just going on autopilot and creating something you don’t really want, or rinsing and repeating previous years. So let’s consciously wrap up 2020 together. A new chapter is always available to you. Each minute, each hour, each day, each week, each month, each year.
Much love and blessing to you.
