We’re continuing to talk about reclaiming our power in the face of tragedy, as a direct response to the threat of COVID-19. I think we could all use a mind shift toward feeling more in control during this stressful time.
To expand on our topic from last week, where we discovered how repeating negative thoughts in a loop (a.k.a. rumination) can make us miserable, let’s explore the concept of GRATITUDE. Neuroscience has proven what the Psychology field has long postulated and even what The Law of Attraction says – the more you focus on the things you’re grateful for, the more things will come into your life for which to be thankful (“like attracts like”).
We already know that replacing our negative thoughts with a substitute thought is helpful. Finding the silver lining of a challenging or difficult situation can help us feel more powerful and in control.
But what if we proactively seek positivity and gratitude?
Let’s not wait until things go bad to try to find the good bits. We can reach for the good stuff now!
Did you know that when you feel gratitude it’s impossible to feel anger and anxiety at the same time? Try it.
Did you know that when you feel and focus on gratitude in the morning, or before going to bed it’s a great way to prime your mind for a good day and a good night’s sleep and overall good brain health hygiene? That’s not to mention all the other positive effects you will see in your life as a result. Why not try it out for a week and see for yourself?
Being grateful creates dopamine in your brain, a powerful feel-good chemical. In the morning when I practice gratitude for a couple of minutes I feel like anything is really possible! I can see that even if I have a “wake up on the wrong side of the bed” day, it all changes when I do this practice. It feels super empowering and I love how I literally feel a shift inside. I feel good. I feel happy. Such a small thing makes such a big shift why aren’t we all doing it?
I know for me I had an annoyance about how gratitude was a popular fad a few years ago and thought it was just another manifestation of positive thinking. I’m all for choosing thoughts that serve you because you know you have a choice in what you think, because that’s empowering, but not blindly going through the motions of positive thinking because you think you “should” and it has no connection for you. Sometimes that causes denial or it plain doesn’t work because it’s not something that’s true to you or that you really believe in, or want to work on believing in. I “should” think this for whatever reason is a lot different than I understand that I have a choice in what I think and feel, and instead I would like to reprogram my mind to believe this new thought and feeling sequence by practicing because of some reason you really connect to. Like:
“It just plain feels better.”
“I don’t want to suffer thinking I’m not worthy.”
“What good does that do me or anyone else?”
“Who decides my worth anyway?”
“I do, so why not believe in it?”
“When I do, I feel good and I do more good things in the world that have a positive effect on me and on others.”
It’s a win-win all the way around. This is an important difference, that may be more of a process of discernment of awareness rather than a striking Difference with a capital D in your awareness. Make sense?
When I don’t take the small amount of time it takes to really connect with the feeling or just rush through it listing off stuff but not connecting with the emotion of gratitude it’s much less effective.
If you are struggling with getting a hit of dopamine from another source that has long-term negative effects on you like a bag of chips, social media, ruminating on worry, or Netflix, or any other buffer try gratitude instead ½ the time and just see what happens. Then when you have mastered that, challenge yourself to go to 100% of the time. You can still do the other thing, but have your own plan for it. Such as, “I check social media for this _____ set amount of time a day for these ____ many times per day. Play with it. It’s empowering.
Now onto the who, what, when, where, and why. So, “Who are you thankful for in your life?” When’s the last time you told them how important they are to you, or just told yourself? Try it and see what happens!
Deepening connections by expressing care and love are always important, but it’s even more crucial during this time, where so many of us are isolating to keep ourselves and others safe. Supporting those around us—especially those more at risk during a pandemic—and building community is an amazing way to feel happier, more connected, and less stressed.
Here are 2 more ideas for practicing gratitude:
Make a list of 10-25 things you’re grateful for right now. Put all pandemic-related stuff aside, table your worries, and just pour-out thankfulness for the bright spots around you.
Pro tip: It helps to write *why* you’re grateful for something or someone. For example, you could write, “I have a best friend, who makes me feel safe, understood, and loved,” instead of just “My best friend”. It can even be your pillow, your bed, your nail polish, your two sh*ts care in the world if you wear nail polish. It’s individual for each of us. There is no right or wrong answer, and guilt is not a part of gratitude. You’re not focused on what you have that someone else doesn’t, just your gratitude about your life.
It can be a feeling you are grateful to have, it can be a thing, a person, an animal, help and support, independence, just about anything at all. Let your mind go creative on you.
Now post the list on your bathroom mirror, your refrigerator, your bedroom wall, or anywhere else you think you’ll see it often. Focus on and read your list at least twice a day, perhaps while waking-up and getting ready for bed, and I’ll bet you’ll find many more things beyond the list to feel good about.
Make new lists regularly to keep things fresh, and let the gratitude flow!
Try expressing thanks for your food each time you eat. It doesn’t have to be a formal prayer, or anything flashy. Simply acknowledging that you have the opportunity and means to nourish your body can go a long way.
Being mindful while you eat can help you eat slower, eat less, and focus on positive things rather than stressful ones. This approach can aid digestion, lower blood pressure, and reduce anxiety!!
Give any or all of the exercises above a shot this coming week and see if you don’t feel lighter and more powerful. Gratitude is potent stuff, and I’m so thankful to understand it, be able to teach this practice to you, and simply grateful to you dear one for being you and allowing me to share with you!
I only have one spot left in my practice at the moment. So please let me know asap if you are interested in a mini session. I am in the process of going to a full waitlist, but as people graduate here and there, I will have openings. Soon it will be all waitlisted. I’d love to work with you if you’ve been thinking about it. I know I can really help. Connect here for a mini session spot or if none are open leave me a message here and I’ll do my best to fit you in. All sorts of love to you in this special time on earth. I am pulling for you and yours. You matter. Take care of you right now, you are worth it! You can decide you’re worthy right now and never look back!
