Tiffany Goyer, MA, RYT, merges her vast education and experience as a life Coach, Therapist, Counselor, Practitioner of Neuro-Emotional Technique (NET) and study of Yoga therapy to bring together a wealth of healing modalities to synchronize the body, mind and spirit.
When anger is disavowed we get into all sorts of problems. I know you want healthy loving relationships and a rocking career that soars to new heights, so let’s sort this out together.
Do you feel constantly in a state of annoyance and pissyness? Or do you know someone who is?
This is a sign that you have disowned your anger.
Have you ever wondered why we hate our anger so much? Or why it is that we can be so afraid of being angry?
Anger is one of our basic emotions but anger can be a tricky emotion for many reasons.
First of all, most of us were socialized that being angry was very un-ladylike. It was not readily accepted or encouraged and even frowned upon in the societies or the families that we grew up in.
How many people do you know that have a healthy expression of anger?
Probably not too many right? Why is that?
What’s a boundary anyway?
Holiday season is among us a I can't think of a better time to talk about the importance of boundaries. A boundary is something that you set when there's been a boundary violation.
What's a boundary violation?
A boundary violation happens when someone comes into your emotional or physical space in a way that’s inappropriate. Then you need to do the work of setting a boundary for yourself.
You get to decide what's "inappropriate" for you.
The boundary is actually what you will do if someone violates you.
A lot of my work with clients around this time is about helping them to prep themselves to deal with family in ways that create feelings of love and peace inside — instead of mild-to-extreme angst & dread and the typical emotional hangover that lasts about a week. Have you been there? I think we all have.
Family is a beautiful thing, but it can also be a source of emotional pain for a lot us. It’s normal. Everybody's got a little drama somewhere in their family system and that’s ok.
Nothing’s wrong with you and it doesn’t need to be a source of shame or other terrible negative emotions either. There is another way.
Together we’ll map out an emotional strategy for the holidays!
It’s a big question right? What do you want to use your life for?
When it comes to making more time in your life you really must answer this question for yourself.
The reason this is important is that when you know what you want to use your life for, you can live intentionally. What's the point in teaching you how to make more time in your life to make more money, have loving relationships and a lifestyle that rocks if you don’t know what to do with that extra time?
First things first, if you have been secretly worried that you may be incompetent that’s not it. That thought is a brain error! Repeat brain error!
It’s not your fault that you keep starting and stopping or get into full-blown freeze mode when you try new or hard things, it’s your brain’s fault.
Your brain is well-intentioned. Your brain's wired to protect you from danger. It doesn't want you to try new or hard things. It thinks you could die. It's programmed to protect you from being eaten by the next wild animal that comes around. It tries to conserve your energy at every turn in case of an emergency. But last time I looked no wild animal was out to get us anymore. Unless you are vacationing somewhere exotic and get lost from the crowd. This used to be a good thing because it kept our species going and allowed us to survive. But now it doesn’t serve us.
How often do you hear yourself say “I don’t know,” either out loud or in your head? So many of us do right? But it stops us from accessing the wisdom that you have within. When I heard the concept that we all have the answers within us, I felt annoyed 😠. I initially thought, if I had all the answers then my life would be easy. But having the answer doesn’t = easier. But it does = you having a pretty darn good shot at making your dreams a reality. Without the confusion, you can bask in the sunshine of clarity and not the clouds and thunderous storms of angst. It’s so easy to have all the right answers for everyone else right, your best friend, your partner, your family? So why's it so hard to do that same thing for yourself? Because confusion, the kind we’ve been indulging in for a long time, gets you stuck in a labyrinth of "I don’t know’s,” with no end goal in sight.
I fell off the wagon again… the procrastination wagon that is.
I’m in Brussels for the first time right now doing my re-certification as a practitioner of Neuro-Emotional Technique (NET). I’m excited to be here for the next 3 days and visit the city. So far all I know is that Belgium's home to the best french fries in the world, ridiculously delicious Belgium chocolates & waffles, and that you must see a statue called the Manneue Pis (according to my NET buddy who’s from here). No one can tell me why this statue is popular here, but just that “everyone goes.”
Ok so I didn’t see Manneue Pis, but I did see Jeanneke Pis. AND I want to confirm that yes I tried the fries and they were fantastic. Big deal coming from an American, no?
You have the option to feel any way you want at any time. Your thoughts cause your feelings, and thoughts are optional.
You need to know this. You always have the option to feel however you choose to feel. This is always available to you. Sometimes we choose to feel sad and angry and frustrated, and that's fine. That's our choice. We can choose to feel however we want, but you have to know and remember that it is always a choice. Your choice.
It's when we start to believe that how we feel isn't a choice that we get ourselves into trouble. We leave jobs and relationships we think we dislike only to find ourselves in a similar situation because we don’t realize this fact that we get to choose our emotions.
I’ve got something radical to tell you today and it’s unconventional wisdom, but a true solution to job confusion.
Why you should love your job before you go…
Lately, I’ve had a lot of questions from my busyaholics who’re feeling a bit tortured and a lot dissatisfied in their jobs. The questions that’ve been coming up are deep and scary having to do with security, safety and the meaning and purpose of life.
This one thought has set me and so many of my clients free: "The worst thing that can happen is a negative emotion." And you can be liberated too, woman. Hear me roar!
Think about it for a second, it’s not the circumstance itself that is hard. It’s the thoughts you have about the circumstances that cause you pain. Emotions are just chemicals in your body that vibrate. When you feel stress your body releases a chemical called cortisol. This chemical vibrates. You can learn how to process stress and any other emotion with these simple steps below.
Our thoughts about anything that happen in life are 💯% optional. I’m gonna teach you how to become a pro at managing your emotions. It’s probably the single most empowering thing you can learn to do in life.
Worrying is like praying for something you don't want.
One of my clients, let's call her Margo was upset because at 37 she's not met "the man of her dreams" and she desperately wants to have a family. She was very worried about it being "too late." She was also focused on how she was "unlucky in love," and how other people so found love were "the lucky ones." She also was feeling confused about the the next steps in her business.
Are you flaking on your ambitious plans for yourself on the regular? If so you are probably experiencing what I like to call "all or nothing & all at once mini-traumas.”
You set the bar way too high in all areas at once, end up NOT following through, feel loads of shame and give up on those dreams way too fast. In your mind it feels like:
“If I don’t do all of it, I can’t do any of it.”
Let’s decide together to be Perfectly Imperfect
Don't stop because of self doubt. Ever. It’s a lie. Made up by the oldest part of your brain, the reptilian brain to try and keep you safe. It’s on high alert, but you don’t need to be when it comes to believing in yourself.
Many of my clients are already very very successful people, though they may try and be modest about it if you asked them... but each time they want to grow and evolve they have to deal with self-doubt. Of course, I do too. And a couple of points here...
Our mind is an interesting thing. When we are young our minds are in a completely different brainwave state than when we are adults.
So until about the age of 7 or 8 years old, we download all the things that are our experiences in life and this helps to shape our personality and understand all the stimuli of life that comes our way. If our minds didn’t work like this we would be like infants all of our lives, literally seeing things for the first time ALL the time and as you can imagine we would not be able to function as adults. This does not mean our minds are set in stone because of our previous programming.
But if you are not aware of this phenomenon you might repeat realities from the past or unhealthily blame your parents or your current partners in relationships for “triggering you,” to respond in whatever way you are conditioned to do.
Imagine a life where you don’t worry about things not working out for you in any way imaginable!
Imagine the suffering you would cut out of your life. So much right?
Imagine what could be possible if you believed everything, and I mean everything would work out for you!
This is why I am talking to you today about adopting an abundance mindset because truly it can make the difference between a happy life and a scared one. It's totally possible to make this shift and fairly easy once you get enough practice at it.
Reprogramming your brain. Most of my clients have a strong inner critic. We work together to create a new dialogue because usually the one that we have is unconscious. You already know that you can choose your thoughts. So why not get really clear about what you want to reprogram yourself.
Most of us have an unconscious script that plays in the background of our days. I always think of this as the thoughts below the surface of your thoughts you have about your day and the tasks at hand.
