Celebrate Your Power to Choose and Overcome Learned Helplessness

Celebrate Your Power to Choose and Overcome Learned Helplessness

Have you forgotten about your ability to choose? How do we do this?

When I was studying psychology at UCSB for my undergrad degree, I learned about a study conducted in the 1960’s by the famous psychologist Martin Seligman, which clearly illustrates why and how we forget our ability to choose. 

How to Feel Better Right Now With 7 Simple Steps to Processing Emotions

How to Feel Better Right Now With 7 Simple Steps to Processing Emotions

This one thought has set me and so many of my clients free: "The worst thing that can happen is a negative emotion." And you can be liberated too, woman. Hear me roar! 

Think about it for a second, it’s not the circumstance itself that is hard. It’s the thoughts you have about the circumstances that cause you pain. Emotions are just chemicals in your body that vibrate. When you feel stress your body releases a chemical called cortisol. This chemical vibrates. You can learn how to process stress and any other emotion with these simple steps below. 

Suffering is optional 

Our thoughts about anything that happen in life are 💯% optional. I’m gonna teach you how to become a pro at managing your emotions. It’s probably the single most empowering thing you can learn to do in life. 

Why are you luckiest woman on the planet? Oh, just by asking your mind good questions?

 Why are you luckiest woman on the planet? Oh, just by asking your mind good questions?

Worrying is like praying for something you don't want.

One of my clients, let's call her Margo was upset because at 37 she's not met "the man of her dreams" and she desperately wants to have a family. She was very worried about it being "too late." She was also focused on how she was "unlucky in love," and how other people so found love were "the lucky ones." She also was feeling confused about the the next steps in her business.

Learning the Minimum Baseline Mindset to Live Your Most Sexy-Kitten-on-Wheels Life

Learning the Minimum Baseline Mindset to Live Your Most Sexy-Kitten-on-Wheels Life

Are you flaking on your ambitious plans for yourself on the regular? If so you are probably experiencing what I like to call "all or nothing & all at once mini-traumas.”

You set the bar way too high in all areas at once, end up NOT following through, feel loads of shame and give up on those dreams way too fast. In your mind it feels like:

“If I don’t do all of it, I can’t do any of it.” 

Let’s decide together to be Perfectly Imperfect

How You Can Up-Level Your Life by Vanishing Self-Doubt!

How You Can Up-Level Your Life by Vanishing Self-Doubt!

Don't stop because of self doubt. Ever. It’s a lie. Made up by the oldest part of your brain, the reptilian brain to try and keep you safe. It’s on high alert, but you don’t need to be when it comes to believing in yourself.

Many of my clients are already very very successful people, though they may try and be modest about it if you asked them... but each time they want to grow and evolve they have to deal with self-doubt. Of course, I do too. And a couple of points here...

Are You Repeating the Same Old Patterns? How to Stop!

Are You Repeating the Same Old Patterns? How to Stop!

Our mind is an interesting thing. When we are young our minds are in a completely different brainwave state than when we are adults.

So until about the age of 7 or 8 years old, we download all the things that are our experiences in life and this helps to shape our personality and understand all the stimuli of life that comes our way. If our minds didn’t work like this we would be like infants all of our lives, literally seeing things for the first time ALL the time and as you can imagine we would not be able to function as adults. This does not mean our minds are set in stone because of our previous programming. 

But if you are not aware of this phenomenon you might repeat realities from the past or unhealthily blame your parents or your current partners in relationships for “triggering you,” to respond in whatever way you are conditioned to do.

5 Ways an Abundant Mindset Will Set You Free of Worry, Fear & Doubt

 5 Ways an Abundant Mindset Will Set You Free of Worry, Fear & Doubt

Imagine a life where you don’t worry about things not working out for you in any way imaginable!

Imagine the suffering you would cut out of your life. So much right?

Imagine what could be possible if you believed everything, and I mean everything would work out for you!

This is why I am talking to you today about adopting an abundance mindset because truly it can make the difference between a happy life and a scared one. It's totally possible to make this shift and fairly easy once you get enough practice at it.

Make Your Life Your Own Creation On Purpose

Make Your Life Your Own Creation On Purpose

Reprogramming your brain. Most of my clients have a strong inner critic. We work together to create a new dialogue because usually the one that we have is unconscious. You already know that you can choose your thoughts. So why not get really clear about what you want to reprogram yourself.

Most of us have an unconscious script that plays in the background of our days. I always think of this as the thoughts below the surface of your thoughts you have about your day and the tasks at hand. 

Loving Yourself Madly — A Daily Self-Affirming Practice

Loving Yourself Madly — A Daily Self-Affirming Practice

What would life be like if you loved yourself madly?

What would you do if you loved yourself madly?

The art of loving yourself fiercely can happen with a 5-minute exercise each morning. I challenge you to do it for a month and see the results that you get. It’s unbelievable the power of your mind. 

Visualize it, Speak it, Feel it — 3 Steps to Creating Anything You Want

Visualize it, Speak it, Feel it — 3 Steps to Creating Anything You Want

One of the amazing things about the tools we’ve been talking about is that you can use language to change the reality of your life. You can manifest just about anything you can think up. Sounds pretty good huh?

It’s not magic, its psychology and I have used these tools and techniques on myself and with so many of my clients so I can tell you it REALLY does work.

If you think about it anything you have ever done in your life was because you believed that you could. At least somewhere in that beautiful mind of yours. The more powerful you believe the more likely you will stay the course and make it happen!!

3 Secret Sauce Steps to Creating Just About Anything You Can Imagine!

3 Secret Sauce Steps to Creating Just About Anything You Can Imagine!

Self-affirmations are a little different than the mantras we did last week because they can tend to be more specific to what goals and dreams you are creating and working on. They are specifically designed to helped you manifest and attract those dreams. I’m gonna give you the 3 steps just below.

What’s the one thing you want more than anything right now? Let’s design you some crazy potent self-affirmations to get you there!

I use these tools with my clients who want to lose weight, make more money, be more organized, realize a long-lost dream, have a thriving work-life and a kick-ass lifestyle they're in love with and so much more!

Powerful Mantras to Create Self-Appreciation

Powerful Mantras to Create Self-Appreciation

The first step to self-appreciation is to identify and be mindful of your negative self-statements (as we talked about in the last post.)

The second step in self-appreciation is to start replacing those negatively affirming self-statements with intentional positive affirming mantras.

Self-Appreciation: What Are You Affirming?

Self-Appreciation: What Are You Affirming?

Why is self-appreciation so important?

Well, in short do you want to feel irresistible about your life? Do you want to have big dreams, go for them and make them happen, do you want people in your life that truly see and appreciate you?

Ok, my friend this is where we have to start. Self-appreciation is the secret sauce to your delicious joyful life you deserve. It’s completely at your finger-tips.

Like I tell my clients if you are 100% committed to this work, you will make whatever you are committed to happen in your life. And you will get there without burning yourself out and feeling unhappy if you allow yourself some fierce self-appreciation.

The Key to Success is Always Courage!

The Key to Success is Always Courage!

So, what is the one thing holding you back from success?

FEAR. The dreaded feeling.

What do you need to solve for fear? COURAGE...

Every day I purposefully do something that scares "the you know what" out of me.

Because I am currently living in the French Riviera, that includes learning French, figuring out how to communicate about getting something delivered to my place, how to find the right light bulbs when all of them have burnt out, how to get my cell phone fixed, how to meet new people every day to grow my community of friends. Just to name a few.

I do something scary every day because I want to develop my COURAGE MUSCLE.

What Makes a Relationship Work or Not?

What Makes a Relationship Work or Not?

Relationships are what makes the world go round.

We need love to survive. You've heard of the experiment with the monkeys where they took some of them away from their mothers and put them in a cage with a mechanical mama monkey and left another group in a cage with their real mama monkey — who loved, feed and cuddled them.

The monkeys with the mechanical mamma died.

Whoa! The conclusion was they died because they didn't get the love and connection we all need to thrive. Poor babies. I hate that they did that to the monkeys, and I hope you don't mind me sharing to illustrate this point. ❤️ 

We all have an instinct to be connected and feel love.

The Universe is Always Conspiring in Your Favor.

The Universe is Always Conspiring in Your Favor.

The universe is always conspiring in your favor.

This is a thought I use on the daily. It has changed my life. And it can change yours too. 

No matter what happens in your life. The good the bad and the ugly. The universe has your best interest at heart. 

What if that were true? How would you feel different if you believed this thought? What’re you going through right now that you could see as the universe conspiring for your highest good? 

My friend is heartbroken. 

Just a few days ago she couldn’t see how she could ever feel good about this break-up, she loved him deeply. I cried with her, hugged her tight and spent many nights with her on my terrace in France just letting her talk it all out. I listened to her stories of love, joy, hope, disappointment, misunderstanding, pain and despair.  

I watched as she moved through the waves of emotions and was struck by her ability to be brave in a dark moment.

Emotional Courage

Emotional Courage

Your Badass Life is awaiting you.

What to do when hard things happen, or you want to make some scary changes:

Practice emotional courage. 

The worst thing that can happen in life is a feeling.

Take a moment and REALLY think about that. Oh and that 10 years relationship you had, the worse thing about it was a feeling. Isn't that crazy. We think it's all the circumstances, but it's actually the feelings. 

When you practice emotional courage, you can and do get through anything in your life because you are willing to feel any emotion. 

Got conflict? Need some skills? Peace out!

Got conflict? Need some skills? Peace out!

Are You in Need of Highly Effective Conflict Resolution Skills? We all are… :)

Too many relationship are suffering from conflict. It’s sad really because I see conflict as unresolved issues from one's past that get acted out with the person you love the most in your life. The conflict is almost always destructive to one degree or another. The problem is we are all just messy humans trying our best, but no one teaches you how to manage your mind, no matter what your brain has downloaded from you past experiences. You and your partner don’t need to be a victim to your patterns of thinking that were established when you were a child and you are not doomed to repeat those patterns, but you must understand and manage your mind.

Guilt-Free Downtime

Guilt-Free Downtime

Are you feeling guilty for reading this because you are “supposed to be doing something else right now? “

If you answered yes, you may be guilty of blurring your downtime with thoughts about what you should be doing? 

The common thought I hear over and over is: “I should be doing something else.”

I know this seems like an innocent thing to think. But I've found it's one of the trickiest, undercover, joy stealing, time robbing, relationship ruining, and health risking thoughts you can have. 

It pretends to motivate, it falsely promises productivity. But it’s a total lie. It actually does the opposite. 

When you think, this thought over and over, eventually it will take over your time and your life and even if you have free time it will never feel like that because you won’t be present. You’ll be too busy being stressed about what you should be doing and you will resent all of the time in your life being about “having to get stuff done,” and this my friends will lead to a less productive and joyless life. I’ve been there. 

Why Patience Isn’t a Virtue and Chick-Flicks Keep You in the Present Joyful Moment

Why Patience Isn’t a Virtue and Chick-Flicks Keep You in the Present Joyful Moment

Many clients will tell me, “if only I could have more patience in my relationship with my partner, or with my kids, or even myself, everything would be so much better.” 

The definition of patience is “the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like and the ability to tolerate delay.”

Patience, as it's defined above, sounds like a tall order to me. 

It sounds vitreous but also pretty painstaking and maybe even a little gruesome when it comes to relationships. 

What if there was a better way to relate than to practice patience?