Are you trusting your life, or are you resisting it?
You know how I know that everything happens for a reason?
The good and the bad?
Because IT IS HAPPENING.
Stop fighting with reality.
How to Singlehandedly Improve Any Relationship: Part 11, The Infinite Value of Validation
One issue that comes up repeatedly in troubled relationships is a lack of validation—of not feeling heard or supported. We all have a deep need for connection. We crave feeling understood, listened to, and valued.
Validation is a powerful tool that can soothe emotions during arguments, allay fears, open lines of communication, and cement bonds. And it doesn’t mean agreeing with someone you disagree with just to make peace—it simply allows space for their perspective and feelings.
How to Singlehandedly Improve Any Relationship: Part 10, Love Yourself First
How to Singlehandedly Improve Any Relationship: Part 9, Sex & Intimacy
How to Singlehandedly Improve Any Relationship: Part 8, Flip the Script
Do you know what most conflicts in a relationship boil down to? POWER and CONTROL. Yep, that’s the truth of it at a foundational level. This constant push-pull creates so much tension in relationships and can degenerate into an endless loop. But what if you could stop the merry-go-round and do something that would actually be more empowering for you and for the relationship? You can. You can experiment with “Flipping the Script.”
How to Singlehandedly Improve Any Relationship: Part 7, Meet Your Own Needs
How to Singlehandedly Improve Any Relationship: Part 6, Feel-Good Change
How to Singlehandedly Improve Any Relationship: Part 5, Red Flags
How to Singlehandedly Improve Any Relationship: Part 4, Managing Anger
How to Singlehandedly Improve Any Relationship: Part 3, Feeling Anger
So how was your complaint-free week? Were you able to refrain from complaining? Did you notice any changes while your mind was open, but your mouth was shut? How are you feeling? Are you mad? I bet anything that you’re PISSED.
It may be tough to admit, but staying quiet, stuffing down those complaints, and “letting things go” probably made you mad. And you may still be mad! So what do we do with all that anger?
How to Singlehandedly Improve Any Relationship: Part 2, the Cons
10 ways to stop a panic attack in its tracks
Singlehandedly Improve Any Relationship: Part 1
I’ve had several readers reach out to ask how to handle relationships where you’re “in it by yourself”—when you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t interested in couples therapy or couples coaching or working on interpersonal dynamics.
How do you move forward alone? Are you expected to just throw the whole thing out the window if it isn’t working? Can you really create change by yourself?
3 Tips to Help You Ditch the Doomscrolling
Have you been glued to your phone for months? Do you find yourself deep in rabbit holes online that you never planned on entering?
I came across a new word online the other day, and it sums up something I’ve been thinking about and seeing in abundance in lately with clients but didn’t quite have a name for this rendition yet. Doomscrolling.
Vulnerability is Empowering
Playing the victim in your life is a quick way to feel miserable, as it creates feelings of helplessness, anger, and fear.
And during this stressful time, who needs even more of *that*? We don’t want to live life feeling defeated! So how can we regain some power and a sense of control? We flip the script!
Flipping the script on victim mentality involves practicing radical vulnerability—the willingness to feel whatever comes up.
Are You Giving Away Your Power With a Victim Mentality?
BLACK LIVES MORE THAN MATTER
For weeks now I’ve wanted to write about the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis and the reckoning that’s followed. It’s been challenging to process what must be heard and said in this moment in time.
Like you, my heart is heavy. There’s a lot of unrest, pain, guilt, shame, judgment, confusion, sadness, rage, and grief out there. Awareness is rising. Thoughtfulness and contemplation are starting to replace ignorance and turning a blind eye.
I want to say comforting words to each one of you—even though I realize I won’t say the right things necessarily. And how can I capture what you’re facing, especially if you’re “living while Black” in this country?
Relationships Part 5: Your Relationship with You
Relationships Part 4: Allowing Autonomy
One of the great advantages of being a grown adult is that we can be and do (mostly) as we wish. We get to do whatever the heck we want! Trying to control others is futile. We each have free will, and we do NOT like it when people try to manipulate that! Which means if you’re trying to get someone to change so you can be happy, it’s not going to work. The secret to real happiness isn't found in getting others to change, but instead it's in allowing autonomy
Relationships Part 3: Establish Your Boundaries
Are you protecting yourself by setting boundaries, making threats, or letting others take advantage of you? Physical boundaries are easier. Locked doors, fences, property lines—they all make sense. But how about emotional boundaries? With people you’re particularly close to (either emotionally or in physical space), emotional boundaries are easily blurred if you don’t make them clear.
