When you take time to care, love, and accept yourself you are showing the people you are in relationships with how to do the same. You respect you, and the natural assumption people will make is that you are someone to be respected.
When you deepen the relationship, you have with yourself, getting to know your inner workings and the drumbeat of your heart you’re more open and naturally curious to understand the uniqueness of those you love. It becomes a language you speak and can bring the two of you together in your own musings and curiosity.
Have you asked questions lately and really listened to the answers? Start with yourself and you’ll see how good it feels. It will be easier to translate to an important relationship you have, romantic or otherwise.
A few weeks ago we touched on the importance of meeting our own needs, but today I want us to dig deep into self-care, self-love, and self-acceptance. These themes are important for our lives individually, but they’re also the foundation for any relationship we have with another person.
How well do you know yourself?
First, to give ourselves proper attention and care, we need to know ourselves intimately. How often do we take the time to search our hearts and minds? Many of my clients tell me they have success with journaling.
But what to write about if you’re stuck with a blank page? There are hundreds of questions to ask yourself, but here are some examples:
What do I want out of life?
What are my biggest hopes/fears?
Where would I like to make a change in my life?
How am I like my mother/father?
What do I love about me?
When do I feel most content/happy?
It’s important to answer these questions for yourself, but you can also use them as an intimacy-building exercise with a partner. Revealing your inner self can increase feelings of closeness and safety.
In terms of self-love, it’s important to focus on what you love about yourself while realizing you are worthy just as you are.
via @morganharpernichols
I challenge you to make the longest list you possibly can of things you like about yourself.
Nothing is too big or small. Put the list up where you can see it several times a day, and if you start with negative self-talk at some point, re-read your list to drown out those thoughts. They are not serving you.
You are worthy and loved right here and now. Start here.
