thoughts

Why Being Past-Focused is Never a Good Idea

Why Being Past-Focused is Never a Good Idea

How do you interpret your past? 

Your past is anything that’s happened up until this very moment. Be clear that all the things you’ve EVER done or not done is what you’ll use to define who you are.  

So, as this year wraps up. I wanted to help you say goodbye to the past you, the parts you didn’t like, in order to get focused on what you want to create in the New Year.  

It’s important to have rituals that support you when there’s a marker in time, so you can look at this last year and how you can learn from it, make adjustments, and move on. Please don’t dwell on what you aren’t happy about. That just won’t serve you and there’s no need to bring that into the New Year into the new you.  

These skills I will teach you here are important because you’ll learn how to define yourself by your future, instead of your past. 

The next few writings you’ll receive from me are going to get you ready to have the best year of your life so far. So keep reading and stay tuned for next week.

Fact vs. Story = Miserable vs. Happy

Fact vs. Story = Miserable vs. Happy

Did you know that you can create your own unhappiness by how you choose to interpret the facts of your life?  

The next time you feel like crap, separate out the facts from the story. I promise using this technique will make you happier immediately. Who doesn’t want some happy?  

4 Ways to Love What You Have (Relationships, Jobs, Etc.)

4 Ways to Love What You Have (Relationships, Jobs, Etc.)

You have the option to feel any way you want at any time. Your thoughts cause your feelings, and thoughts are optional.  

You need to know this. You always have the option to feel however you choose to feel. This is always available to you. Sometimes we choose to feel sad and angry and frustrated, and that's fine. That's our choice. We can choose to feel however we want, but you have to know and remember that it is always a choice. Your choice.  

It's when we start to believe that how we feel isn't a choice that we get ourselves into trouble. We leave jobs and relationships we think we dislike only to find ourselves in a similar situation because we don’t realize this fact that we get to choose our emotions.  

How You Can Up-Level Your Life by Vanishing Self-Doubt!

How You Can Up-Level Your Life by Vanishing Self-Doubt!

Don't stop because of self doubt. Ever. It’s a lie. Made up by the oldest part of your brain, the reptilian brain to try and keep you safe. It’s on high alert, but you don’t need to be when it comes to believing in yourself.

Many of my clients are already very very successful people, though they may try and be modest about it if you asked them... but each time they want to grow and evolve they have to deal with self-doubt. Of course, I do too. And a couple of points here...

Are You Repeating the Same Old Patterns? How to Stop!

Are You Repeating the Same Old Patterns? How to Stop!

Our mind is an interesting thing. When we are young our minds are in a completely different brainwave state than when we are adults.

So until about the age of 7 or 8 years old, we download all the things that are our experiences in life and this helps to shape our personality and understand all the stimuli of life that comes our way. If our minds didn’t work like this we would be like infants all of our lives, literally seeing things for the first time ALL the time and as you can imagine we would not be able to function as adults. This does not mean our minds are set in stone because of our previous programming. 

But if you are not aware of this phenomenon you might repeat realities from the past or unhealthily blame your parents or your current partners in relationships for “triggering you,” to respond in whatever way you are conditioned to do.

Make Your Life Your Own Creation On Purpose

Make Your Life Your Own Creation On Purpose

Reprogramming your brain. Most of my clients have a strong inner critic. We work together to create a new dialogue because usually the one that we have is unconscious. You already know that you can choose your thoughts. So why not get really clear about what you want to reprogram yourself.

Most of us have an unconscious script that plays in the background of our days. I always think of this as the thoughts below the surface of your thoughts you have about your day and the tasks at hand. 

Powerful Mantras to Create Self-Appreciation

Powerful Mantras to Create Self-Appreciation

The first step to self-appreciation is to identify and be mindful of your negative self-statements (as we talked about in the last post.)

The second step in self-appreciation is to start replacing those negatively affirming self-statements with intentional positive affirming mantras.

Self-Appreciation: What Are You Affirming?

Self-Appreciation: What Are You Affirming?

Why is self-appreciation so important?

Well, in short do you want to feel irresistible about your life? Do you want to have big dreams, go for them and make them happen, do you want people in your life that truly see and appreciate you?

Ok, my friend this is where we have to start. Self-appreciation is the secret sauce to your delicious joyful life you deserve. It’s completely at your finger-tips.

Like I tell my clients if you are 100% committed to this work, you will make whatever you are committed to happen in your life. And you will get there without burning yourself out and feeling unhappy if you allow yourself some fierce self-appreciation.

The Universe is Always Conspiring in Your Favor.

The Universe is Always Conspiring in Your Favor.

The universe is always conspiring in your favor.

This is a thought I use on the daily. It has changed my life. And it can change yours too. 

No matter what happens in your life. The good the bad and the ugly. The universe has your best interest at heart. 

What if that were true? How would you feel different if you believed this thought? What’re you going through right now that you could see as the universe conspiring for your highest good? 

My friend is heartbroken. 

Just a few days ago she couldn’t see how she could ever feel good about this break-up, she loved him deeply. I cried with her, hugged her tight and spent many nights with her on my terrace in France just letting her talk it all out. I listened to her stories of love, joy, hope, disappointment, misunderstanding, pain and despair.  

I watched as she moved through the waves of emotions and was struck by her ability to be brave in a dark moment.

Got conflict? Need some skills? Peace out!

Got conflict? Need some skills? Peace out!

Are You in Need of Highly Effective Conflict Resolution Skills? We all are… :)

Too many relationship are suffering from conflict. It’s sad really because I see conflict as unresolved issues from one's past that get acted out with the person you love the most in your life. The conflict is almost always destructive to one degree or another. The problem is we are all just messy humans trying our best, but no one teaches you how to manage your mind, no matter what your brain has downloaded from you past experiences. You and your partner don’t need to be a victim to your patterns of thinking that were established when you were a child and you are not doomed to repeat those patterns, but you must understand and manage your mind.

Emotions as a Skill to Create Your Irresistible Life

Emotions as a Skill to Create Your Irresistible Life

One day she learned how to feel love no matter what…and you can too.

Do you know that right now you can feel exactly as you wish? 

When you learn to feel emotions as a skill, you can use them as tools to literally create anything you want in life! 

 What do you want to create? It can be absolutely anything. 

I decided I wanted to feel more LOVE in my life.

Lots of love for my life and the people in it. I decided to selfishly practice unconditional love. I know that may sound cheesy, but I don’t care because it works and it feels good. It’s not some airy-fairy kind of thing I’m talking about, it’s real emotion.

Best of Byron Katie

Best of Byron Katie

Have you ever felt like a stranger in a foreign land, or even in your own neck of the woods?

I've been in France for 8 months. It's interesting living in another country for so long and not speaking the language, ho hum... I'm taking French class by the way, but still struggling to speak. A lot of time I feel like maybe I came from another planet, maybe Venus, and landed smack dab in the middle of the French Riveria.

10 Ways To Say No Like A Pro Even When It’s Hard…

10 Ways To Say No Like A Pro Even When It’s Hard…

Time and relationships, including the one with yourself, are two of your most precious commodities. Treat them right, by practicing saying no when you mean it.  

Women are programmed to say yes.

As women, we tend to want to do it all. We are biologically designed to be caretakers. We’re taught to be “good girls” and that means taking care of people even at your own expense. We are told that it’s selfish to put your needs first.

We must and we can retrain our brains to be able to say no

How Self-Critical Are You?

How Self-Critical Are You?

How you treat yourself is a choice. It’s YOUR choice.

No-one, unfortunately, can choose for you. And I want you to consider that this is critical. That how you treat yourself creates the foundation upon which you interact in the world. The bad news is, sometimes we have to untangle thoughts and experiences that are in the way of us treating ourselves kindly and with respect. AND the awesome news is YOU have all the power here. Really.

It’s not about letting yourself off the “hook.”