Relationships Part 5: Your Relationship with You

Have y’all been acting grown this past week? 😉 I hope you’ve felt liberated by allowing for autonomy, as discussed last week. 

So far in this relationship series, we’ve talked about your relationships with others, but to wrap-up, we’re going to focus on the most important relationship of all—your own relationship with Y-O-U! 

If you haven’t been following along or need a reminder, we’ve already covered some basic tenets: 

  1. You’re 100% lovable as you are, and there’s nothing you can do to be more worthy of love.



  2. If you don’t love yourself, it’s a reflection of your choice, not your lovability. You are the object of your love, but your lovability will be dependent on your willingness and capacity to love yourself unconditionally.



  3. How you treat yourself is a reflection of your thoughts about yourself.

 

So, when it boils down to it, having an amazing relationship with yourself is simply a commitment to think awesome thoughts about yourself. That’s all. Easy peasy, right? 

NOPE! It’s some of the hardest work you’ll ever do. 

But it sounds so simple! Why is it hard? 

Our brains are conditioned to look for the bad and be judgmental. We spend so much energy judging ourselves (and others) that we have precious little energy left to love ourselves on purpose. We have years of negative self-talk to overcome, and it’s mostly unconscious, so it’s a tricky habit to break. 

On top of that, we don’t get much support from the outside world. It’s quite a judgmental place—especially for women. Entire industries are organized around making women feel shitty about themselves to drive consumption (capitalism). 

Take this…eat that…buy this…invest in that… It’s maddening! 

And if I go out into the world just as I am and say, “I’m amazing,” people look at me sideways. I’m viewed as a braggart, or a snob, or conceited.  

But by saying good things about myself, I’m not saying I’m better than you—I’m not saying that in the least. 

I’m just saying I’m amazing. And I’m also saying you’re amazing. We’re all amazing, and we should spend more time talking about how awesome we are and less time talking about our perceived weaknesses! 

My opinion of myself is high, and my opinion of you is high. Because of this, I have an amazing relationship with myself. I don’t spend time beating myself up, putting myself down. I spend time loving, encouraging, and acknowledging myself. 

And, oh man, is it so much MORE FUN to live that way! 

Take the Self-Love Challenge

For the next week, to counter negative self-talk, I ask that you write down 3 reasons you’re awesome on a post-it note or scrap of paper every day. Then put it up where you can see it often. 

Don’t just do it once and re-read the same list all week (although that can help if that’s all you can manage). I challenge you to think up NEW things you like/love about yourself each day and focus on them. 

And when judge-y, critical thoughts arise (THEY WILL), I ask that you stop, breathe, and then counter them with good things you’ve come up with. 

When judge-y critical thoughts arise.jpg

I’m willing to bet you’ll stop being so mean to yourself. I imagine you’ll begin to stop yourself faster and faster when “mean-girl thoughts” pop-up.

I bet if you keep thinking awesome thoughts about yourself, you’ll discover YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! ❤️


Are you wanting an irresistible life? And I mean even during these times? It's possible. Let me share with you how. Just one spot left for a mini session.