Patience, Persistence, and Courage in Life and Love
2020 has taught us many lessons, and I think at the heart of them is patience, persistence, and courage. We’ve had to wait…and wait…and wait.
We’ve had to deal with being away from friends and family, wait and watch for a possible COVID vaccine, keep our spirits up when they may be really low, and have faith that things will eventually get better. I know some of you are really struggling with this. It’s pretty obvious why you might struggle, but what if we shift the lenses a bit.
Your thoughts are always optional so you can think anything that you want, which is part of the beauty of having a mind. What if you choose to believe that things will get better; This is temporary; I can find ways to thrive even during this time, I will create the change I want to see in the world starting with me.
When it comes to relationships (or dating), these lessons absolutely apply. When we’re trying to improve our relationships with other people, change doesn’t happen overnight. So, we have to cultivate patience with ourselves, with others, and with our situations/issues.
We must be resolute—persevere when it seems like there’s no shift in what we’d really like to change. Giving up after one or two experiments that have been discussed in this blog series called, “How to Singlehandedly Improve any Relationship,” isn’t fair to yourself or to the process.
We must have courage. And it doesn’t have to be BIG courage—the resolve to conquer the HUGE issues once and for all! It’s just the faith to take one next step, the next baby step on the road that will move the needle in the right direction.
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Be aware that the real magic comes when you have all 3 of these qualities working for you at the same time.
If you just have one, such as a lot of patience without the courage and persistence to create change in your relationship, you could wait around forever, maybe even feeling like the dreaded “doormat” or in what feels like purgatory, instead of being in a truly empowered place within yourself and your relationships. All 3 combined are what it takes to really stay the course and make change happen. Play around with creating thoughts that will generate these emotions in you.
Instead of feeling doubtful, worried, or defeated about a relationship, (or really any situation), you decided to created confidence and certainty in your abilities for patience, courage, and persistence. It’s available to you to have no question that your relationship goals will happen. Every day you can choose to believe that you will get to your goal, no matter what the current circumstances look like.
Know and memorize this;
You decide what feelings to generate, not the circumstance, for example, your partner’s current behavior, or the state of your level of connection at the present moment.
The feelings you choose to generate matter. You can choose to generate patience, courage, and pertinence (not the kind that is passive and self-deprecating), but the kind that is full of empowerment, and confidence. Knowing what it is that you want in your relationships and no matter what’s going on with the other person, you get to live into that best version of yourself.
Too many times I see women allowing their emotional lives to be dictated by the mood or behaviors of their partners. Don’t get stuck in this pattern. Decide to think and feel on purpose and see how your relationships shift and change in a very natural way.
Think of these emotions as a prescription you will take every morning when you wake up.
⏰ Confidence is a daily practice.
⏰ Patience, courage, and persistence are also a daily practice.
⏰ Make sure when you wake up in the morning you choose to generate these feelings. Thoughts create our feelings, so practicing thoughts that generate the feeling you want is so vital to the health of any relationship.
💭For example, I will show up as my best self for me, no matter what is going on in my relationship.
💭I believe in my relationship goals and I choose to believe in them no matter what is going on with my partner.
💭I cannot change another person against their will, but when I gain new skills that allow me to practice showing up differently in my relationships it’s inevitable that the relationship will change.
💭I create boundaries in my relationship that help me maintain my self-respect, while I generate patience, courage, and persistence.
💭I know that sometimes patience, courage, and persistence can mean that I leave a current relationship from a place of love and I can still believe in my relationship goals, no matter what.
Where in your life are you feeling impatient? Are you wishing your partner would hurry up and change? Are you letting dates that have left you feeling less than excited or hopeful for the future stir you away from your relationship goals? Don’t do that to yourself, you deserve better. Have you been hoping for a change in yourself and getting frustrated it’s not happening fast enough?
I invite you to relax and focus on these 3 qualities and generate them as feelings you practice when you wake up in the morning and all day.
Know that things will take time.
Know that you must take small steps consistently and be persistent. Know that you can find the courage within to go just a little further. Step-by-step, one day you’ll be so satisfied and elated at how far you’ve come! You deserve it. Did anyone tell you how amazing you are lately? Well, you are.
Good news, I have an opening for one new client at the moment. Hurry and get on my schedule for a mini session so that we can see if we are a good fit. I want to help you with your relationship goals right now so that you’re prepared and excited about what 2021 will bring.
