We knew we’d get here eventually, right? Let’s talk about SEX, baby!

No, but for real, we need to back up a bit and talk about intimacy. What does it mean to you?

Deep connection, romance, sexual pleasure—it’s all on the table. Because chances are it hasn’t been…uh…on the table…or anywhere else for that matter…in a while.

Between work, kids, health issues, financial worries, and on and on, the busyness of life can seriously get in the way of getting busy. So the first hurdle is definitely time—or rather lack of time.

To create feelings of closeness, we need to spend time with each other, to find ways to connect outside the bedroom, if we want to have any meaningful connection once in the bedroom.

For many, physical connection can only be enjoyed when there’s an emotional bond. Try creating an atmosphere of honesty and openness with your partner, so that the groundwork is there for spontaneity and sexual playfulness.

One of my recent clients found that starting to call at least once a day for no particular reason (and with no agenda), leaving surprise notes in the car or in packed lunches, and letting her partner in on things that were bothering her (instead of bottling them up) really created room in her relationship. Soon romantic feelings and a sexy bond returned for them.

And, if this isn’t for you—if you and your partner don’t really need that—then don’t overcomplicate things. If you two decide that a “sex schedule” works for you both, then do it. It’s only “unromantic” if you say so!

Not all relationships are sexual, but I would say most satisfying relationships are at least to some degree intimate. Sharing of ourselves and receiving love bring a fullness to the human experience that can’t be overstated.