Tiffany Goyer, MA, RYT, merges her vast education and experience as a life Coach, Therapist, Counselor, Practitioner of Neuro-Emotional Technique (NET) and study of Yoga therapy to bring together a wealth of healing modalities to synchronize the body, mind and spirit.
What would happen if we focus on writing (or better yet, rewriting) our pasts consciously? This involves changing the way we think and feel about past circumstances, rather than old, worn narratives that don’t serve us well. It’s about discovering alternative truths that acknowledge how far you’ve come and set you up for success.
Do you know what most conflicts in a relationship boil down to? POWER and CONTROL. Yep, that’s the truth of it at a foundational level. This constant push-pull creates so much tension in relationships and can degenerate into an endless loop. But what if you could stop the merry-go-round and do something that would actually be more empowering for you and for the relationship? You can. You can experiment with “Flipping the Script.”
So how was your complaint-free week? Were you able to refrain from complaining? Did you notice any changes while your mind was open, but your mouth was shut? How are you feeling? Are you mad? I bet anything that you’re PISSED.
It may be tough to admit, but staying quiet, stuffing down those complaints, and “letting things go” probably made you mad. And you may still be mad! So what do we do with all that anger?
I’ve had several readers reach out to ask how to handle relationships where you’re “in it by yourself”—when you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t interested in couples therapy or couples coaching or working on interpersonal dynamics.
How do you move forward alone? Are you expected to just throw the whole thing out the window if it isn’t working? Can you really create change by yourself?
Are you protecting yourself by setting boundaries, making threats, or letting others take advantage of you? Physical boundaries are easier. Locked doors, fences, property lines—they all make sense. But how about emotional boundaries? With people you’re particularly close to (either emotionally or in physical space), emotional boundaries are easily blurred if you don’t make them clear.
One of my mentors, Brooke Castillo of The Life Coach School, taught me one of the strangest and most powerful concepts ever—that relationships are just thoughts we have in our brains.
Say what, now?
Yep! They exist, surely—but ALL of our varied relationships in the world are simply *our thoughts* about other people.
Self-affirmations are a little different than the mantras we did last week because they can tend to be more specific to what goals and dreams you are creating and working on. They are specifically designed to helped you manifest and attract those dreams. I’m gonna give you the 3 steps just below.
What’s the one thing you want more than anything right now? Let’s design you some crazy potent self-affirmations to get you there!
I use these tools with my clients who want to lose weight, make more money, be more organized, realize a long-lost dream, have a thriving work-life and a kick-ass lifestyle they're in love with and so much more!
Relationships are what makes the world go round.
We need love to survive. You've heard of the experiment with the monkeys where they took some of them away from their mothers and put them in a cage with a mechanical mama monkey and left another group in a cage with their real mama monkey — who loved, feed and cuddled them.
The monkeys with the mechanical mamma died.
Whoa! The conclusion was they died because they didn't get the love and connection we all need to thrive. Poor babies. I hate that they did that to the monkeys, and I hope you don't mind me sharing to illustrate this point. ❤️
We all have an instinct to be connected and feel love.
The universe is always conspiring in your favor.
This is a thought I use on the daily. It has changed my life. And it can change yours too.
No matter what happens in your life. The good the bad and the ugly. The universe has your best interest at heart.
What if that were true? How would you feel different if you believed this thought? What’re you going through right now that you could see as the universe conspiring for your highest good?
My friend is heartbroken.
Just a few days ago she couldn’t see how she could ever feel good about this break-up, she loved him deeply. I cried with her, hugged her tight and spent many nights with her on my terrace in France just letting her talk it all out. I listened to her stories of love, joy, hope, disappointment, misunderstanding, pain and despair.
I watched as she moved through the waves of emotions and was struck by her ability to be brave in a dark moment.
Are you afraid of being a doormat in your relationships?
If so, you are probably a good-hearted person who gives so much of yourself, your time and energy in your relationships. But many times, you feel resentful when you don’t get that in return. You might even feel like a doormat at times.
How the fire of anger and resentment take over the passion you once felt in your relationship
Anger and resentment can start to build, as you try and take care of your relationship as best you know how. You become over-scheduled, depleted and maybe even a little depressed. If this sounds familiar, you’ll relate to this vignette about Sarah’s experience and find that you can make positive changes, step by step, so that you can stop losing time feeling bad in your relationships and start feeling better and more in control today.
