To follow-up on last week’s discussion of hidden anger, let’s move on and talk about managing anger that’s…well…quite visible.
This is for the screamers, the kickers, the punchers…those of you who have thrown things across the room because you’re so pissed. I’m not here to judge you, I promise. I’d like to offer other ways of letting that passion, that fire in your belly, move through you without sending you off the rails.
You may notice that some of these suggestions look similar to the ones from last week, for those that hide/bury their feelings of anger. That’s because these actions can have varying effects. For the ones who stuff their feelings, some of these can fire them up, get them riled, which is what we want.
But for those that we want to calm, these tips can help dissipate anger by offering an outlet for it. However, PLEASE NOTE that if these suggestions below make things worse, stop. If you feel like doing some of them makes you more angry—step away. That’s NOT the technique for you!
A few non-destructive ways to channel your overwhelming anger:
Write a mean letter to the person you’re mad at—list everything that’s pissed you off and hurt you. Really let it rip! Write as if no one will ever read it because NO ONE WILL. Burn it, tear it up, or otherwise destroy it immediately after you write it. It’s just for purging and cleansing.
Ask a good friend to meet you for a venting session. Make sure it’s ok with your friend, and then just let go. Release everything you want to say to the person you’re angry with. Really feel the fire in your belly to get relief, but if this exercise makes you even more angry afterward, please skip this one. But I’ll bet you’ll feel more calm after.
Get moving! Run around the block (or several), scream in your car, punch pillows over and over! You can even dance to fast music. Letting our pent-up rage out can be very therapeutic.
It’s best if you try these alone or with a trusted friend. Avoid doing any of these exercises in the presence of the person that’s the focus of your anger. These techniques are for you—not a performance.
Next week we’ll continue talking about handling strong emotions like anger because the topic is quite complex and important. Let’s face it—it’s just not reality for people to only be *either* an “anger hider” or an “anger exploder”—we will ALL experience both sides of the coin at some point. And it’s ideal to be prepared for managing whatever comes up in the moment.
