Noticed any changes since our experiment last week? In the last blog, we talked about focusing on the good in our relationships, faking our way to better ones, and practicing love in action.
What have you given in last week to foster goodwill and loving vibes? If your answer is nothing or I don’t know, you have some homework to do!
Now, some of you may buck up and feel resentful. You’re thinking “why do I have to do all the work?” “Why should I give and give, while getting nothing in return? This is simply NOT FAIR.”
You’re probably right. It’s not equitable or fair. And that’s ok.
We’re trying to create change in the complex realm of interpersonal relationships, and you may have to give more at first. Things may seem way off balance, but we can push through.
We can start by being the strong, independent women we claim to be. We can bring home the bacon and fry it up.
MEET YOUR OWN NEEDS
You’ll be much less vulnerable to life’s storms if you work on depending on yourself to get your needs met. If you want it done correctly, do it yourself, right?
The best metaphor I can think of right now is this one:
Want more orgasms with less hassle? Invest in good sex toys. 😉
Depending on your partner to meet ALL of your needs gives them way too much power. If someone else’s actions (or inactions) determine your thoughts and/or feelings, they are in control 100% of the time.
Need a break from cleaning and feel you get no help? Hire a service, even if it’s just once.
Want to be wined and dined? DIY, baby!
You’ll probably discover that in response to your newfound independence, you notice changes in your partner. They may not all be good changes—for example, if they feel threatened or anxious—but at least there’s some movement in the status quo.
To go back to the sex toys for a second: what if your partner is turned on by your new exploration? Maybe they’ve been curious to try something new but haven’t said anything. They may be so into it that they want to use them together, creating more intimacy…it could even turn your entire sex life around!
Now think about your other issues in your relationship. Which of those cons/complaints we listed out a few weeks ago could you handle on your own? Brainstorm ways you could act solo to make improvements, no matter how small.
Taking “ownership” of these issues can make you feel much more in control and less like a victim. Whether you’re able to change things or not, you’ll feel much more empowered.
And the best-case scenario is, you’ll spark change around your issues that inspires your partner to act, too.
And then you can truly get some of the balance you’ve been wanting.
