Last week we dove into the topic of relationships by exploring the idea that all relationships are dependent on your thoughts about them.
We also talked a little about our desire to control others, so that we make sure they meet our expectations of them. Many of us have “operation manuals” for how we want other people to behave, and sometimes they’re shockingly detailed.
These “rules” are almost always unspoken, which makes them almost impossible. And sometimes relationships devolve into two people just following each other’s expectations—with no real connection.
But what if we all took care of our own needs and expectations, and then just enjoyed each other’s company? You might just discover unconditional love.
Unconditional Love
Love is an emotion…a vibration in your body. You feel it.
And you create all your own feelings, and other people create all of theirs. So, why would you ever choose to feel anything other than love?
Unconditional love means you feel love toward someone no matter what they do. You do this for your own sake because it feels good.
Loving never hurts. If you love someone and they betray you or say something horrible, it’s not the love you have for them that hurts. What hurts is the meaning you give to the thing they did. Your feelings of betrayal really f*cking hurt!
Loving someone never hurts, no matter what they do. It’s the lack of love that hurts.
We don’t have to put conditions on our love. We don’t have to deny ourselves that feeling when someone doesn’t follow our rules…our “operation manual”.
We get to feel love no matter what the other person does. Unconditional love means you feel love toward them no matter what they do.
And it doesn’t mean we don’t have boundaries and/or leave when necessary. It just means we don’t have to feel hate or anger doing it.
People make mistakes and do things from a place of pain. We can hate them or love them as humans. “I love you no matter what” is the most amazing thing to say and to hear.
And on the flip side, YOU are unconditionally loved. You don’t need to do, say, or be anything different to be loved. Your being loved is not about you. It’s about the person doing the loving.
Your lovability is absolute. There’s nothing you can do to become “more lovable”.
The only thing that can change how much someone loves you is their ability, decision, and capacity to love you.
Isn’t that liberating?
We can let all the craving, stress, and thirst go. We’re as lovable as we’ll ever be—which is *infinitely* loveable.
Last week on a mini-consult session Nicole (name changed for confidentiality purposes) was hoping to change her rushed, stressed, and unenjoyable career doing what she loves, or used to love...big question mark. She said something that so many of my clients express, that she thought because she'd "found 'the' job that she loves, she should love the work that she does," but she doesn't feel the love anymore just negative emotion. 😔
Why does this happen to us? (You can substitute your relationship if it's not your job.) Why are we so easily unhappy with what we once thought we loved, like our careers and partners. It's a simple reason as to why this happens and if you read my blog you already know the answer. But let me help you put that easy concept into practice because it's easy, but it does take practice and learning, and I can help you with that big time!
If you feel like you are in a dead-end career or relationship, you need to jump on a mini-consult session with me before you give up. Click here and I'll coach you through this and you'll discover the tools that have been within you this entire time—likely just not known to you. It's magical if you take these steps, and pretty sad if you don't. What are you waiting for? Sign-up here. I've only got a few spots a week. I can't wait to talk to you.
Love to you all and to your happiness!
