We don’t want to fail (and, by the way, why not?) or not be “good enough” (again, why not?), so we build a homestead around the fire of “I’m waiting until I’m ready,” or "that will probably never happen for me, so I just won't even try." We roast marshmallows, talk to others also homesteading there, make good friends, get comfortable, even feel sorry for ourselves because, "see it's totally unlikely that my dreams could come true," – but still have nights when we’re looking out beyond camp to the place off in the distance that is calling us, wishing and hoping.

So many of my clients struggle with confidence, we all do of course! And the number one thing I notice causing the struggle is how much they beat themselves up. Literally, their thinking about themselves is all that holds them back. When we beat ourselves up for not being “perfect” and therefore not “confident” we hold ourselves back.

I find myself using Kenny Rogers' famous song, "The Gambler," to help me illustrate to my clients AND myself probably too many things, but today... how to overcome your delegation anxiety.

I view two levels of delegating, the small stuff (tactical) and the big stuff (strategic). Both forms of delegating can be challenging for the busyaholic, and really for lots of people.

You might be wondering, when you finally feel comfortable at something (work, play, life), why are you not as satisfied as you expected?
 
Our comfort zones. They are so cozy. So reassuring. So stable. Until they’re not. Until our insistence on staying in our comfort zone, usually so well meaning, actually leads to a narrowing of our life to such an extent that we feel “trapped” or “stuck” versus comfortable and good.

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” — Christopher Reeve

It’s important for us to believe in things we have no past evidence to support us believing in.

Our thoughts shape our reality. So if we continue to think what we’ve always thought, we’re going to produce what we’ve always produced. I’ve read this a thousand times before. But you know when you have that moment where you hear something and then that moment when you REALLY HEAR something.

What if there was one thing you could do right now for self-care that would greatly improve your mental, physical & spiritual health, and you don't even have to move from where you are or stop what you are doing? Well there is...

You can stop mentally beating yourself up and feeling guilty for not sticking to your self-care routine? Wait a minute, what? 

When you find yourself feeling “stuck,” ask yourself these four questions and see what shifts for you. I promise there will be a shift! So give it a whirl.

Our brains are biologically wired for survival. When we lived more primitive lives, think caveman cavewoman, this was very helpful in ensuring we were alert to danger and ready to act. In today’s world we don’t need our brains to be constantly scanning for life-threatening dangers. But our brain hasn’t gotten that message. It wants us to stay in the cave. It’s committed to keeping us safe. And that means sometimes we can over think things and put ourselves in a Fight or Flight or Freeze Response over scenarios that are not happening and likely aren’t ever going to happen.

I think there’s no such thing as “right” decision.  The recovering perfectionist in me wants to believe there is. That with enough time, research, assessing and over thinking I can make sure that I make the most right decisions I can.  

And the deal is I’m slowly, learning to re-define how I think about a “right” decision.  Of course I want to be aligned with my integrity and spirit.