What Do Dog Poop, Garbage, and TV Manuals Have To Do With Your Happiness?

What Do Dog Poop, Garbage, and TV Manuals Have To Do With Your Happiness?

"But it's my husband's job to clean up the dog poop and take out the garage!" Is this part of your manual for your partner too?

A "manual," is a list of expectations you have for your most prized relationships. 

People don't come with instruction manuals like new T.V.'s. But you probably don't realize you've got a "manual" for just about everyone in your life. Some manuals are pretty hefty. I know I've had a few that were too heavy to lift on my own.   

Get to know you manuals well and don't get too attached to them.

It's awesome to realize you've got a set of "manuals," because then you get to choose not to let them weigh you down. This may sound crazy at first, but when you let go of your manual you'll feel empowered! 

Should I Book That Ticket to Paris?

Should I Book That Ticket to Paris?

Did you know that each day you make about 35,000 decision? No wonder many of you suffer from decision fatigue. And when you are tired and worried you usually opt for the easy and familiar.

But what I know for sure is that indecision and the easy choice are both fear-based, and unlikely getting you that irresistible life you desire. 

Just yesterday, one of my clients had an opportunity come her way that she immediately thought, “I’m definitely not ready for this.” It happened to be the opportunity to speak at a women's retreat in Paris. Before even considering that this may be a huge step in the right direction, fear seized her and she shut it down immediately. But I ask her to reconsider with my magic weapon lie detector question. 

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I WANT to Stop Being Busy, So Why Am I Not Doing It?

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I WANT to Stop Being Busy, So Why Am I Not Doing It?

Do you get frustrated with yourself because you can't stop putting more on your plate than you can manage, or you manage it all but you feel completely burnt out, or that you keep feeling dread about how busy and stressed you feel year after year?

Then you need to understand how the motivational triad works so that you can beat yourself up about this less, and understand with kindness how you can help you let go of the negative

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Let's Get Comfortable With Discomfort

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Let's Get Comfortable With Discomfort

Often times us buyaholics, busy ourselves because we just “DO” without thinking it through. We get so caught up in all of the tasks, or that new training, and that volunteer position that we don’t focus on the big picture.

Consider that what feels important today, is just a distraction from your true dreams and desires. If you examine your to-do list you'll find that some of the items don't even need to be done!

When you get to the end of your life would you rather have used your time to focus on your dreams, what it is that really matters to you, or on your to-do list? No brainer right?
 

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Try this 1 tactic this year, and be twice as productive

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Try this 1 tactic this year, and be twice as productive

I know what you're thinking as you're reading this, you're wondering what it's about. Well, imagine if your problems could seemingly magically melt away. You could be at least twice as productive as you currently are, right? Let's talk about making this a year where you never lose time and productivity obsessing over a perceived problem in your life again.

Ready for more time, less stress, and more peace? I know I am. Let me explain...and make sure you use this tactic starting today. 

Plan to Live on Purpose This Year!

Plan to Live on Purpose This Year!

Most of my clients are looking forward to having a clean slate, a new year. But how do we mentally close out last year so that we can start the new year clear and focused? What to do with this new start?

I have found that reviewing what happened the previous year can be an illuminating exercise in planning for this one. A couple of important points before you get cracking on these questions:

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2021, Just the Best Year of Your Life So Far...

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2021, Just the Best Year of Your Life So Far...

This is what I did in 2018… Make no mistake, I did not mean 2017, I mean 2018…

One of my trusted mentors introduced this idea to me and I want to share it with you know so that you can live 2018, as if you already achieved what you will be aiming for this year.

Trust me this is SO powerful. I want you to do this exercise with me. So, here is what I did in 2018….

Energy Vampires? Get Your Secret Weapon Ready For the Holidays.

Energy Vampires? Get Your Secret Weapon Ready For the Holidays.

Do you think there is such a thing as people who are energy vampires? Not the Halloween kind of vampires, but people who suck the energy from you, exhaust you or make you want to close off?

We are right in the middle of Christmas celebrations, and New Year’s is just around the corner. The holidays can be such a busy time with family and loved ones. Bringing busy schedules, family dynamics, last minute preparations and rich food. There is an energetic exchange going on when we are around so many people and so many expectations. One that often, we don’t realize we have choice in. 

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Do You Have Decision Fatigue?

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Do You Have Decision Fatigue?

I’ve been observing from clients lately, and me too really, that a lot of us busyaholics are in a place of “decision fatigue.”

What's decision fatigue anyway?

When you have a lot going on, which for us busyaholics feels like almost always, and you’re not making decisions about things that are on your mind. You’re ruminating over and over about the many different decisions you have to make, yet you may not even be aware of it, or just slightly aware. It might come in the form of a repetitive thought like, "oh no, and what am I going to do about the holidays?" And the energy you’re putting into having unanswered questions on your back burner is tiring you out.

I Can't Be Sick. What Do I Do Now?

I Can't Be Sick. What Do I Do Now?

"I can't be sick. I should be working, and taking care of the house, the kids, my to-do list. I will get so behind this is going to be horrible."

If you are thinking these thoughts like most of us busyaholics are when we are sick, then you are right it will be horrible. How to be sick and feel good mentally is challenging but totally possible. It can actually be a time of reprieve even if you feel physically crummy. Take advantage of this pause on life.

People Pleasers are Liars. Do You Agree?

People Pleasers are Liars. Do You Agree?

“I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings and I don’t want people to be mad at me.”

Do you hear yourself thinking either of these thoughts at points in your day? I think of these as key indicators of People Pleasers. It sounds like such a good intention from the outside, not wanting to hurt feelings or make others mad, it sounds caring and like a good way to live.

But, here’s the deal, people pleasing is motivated by fear.

Are You Beating Yourself Up For Not Being Perfect? Look Out for Double Trouble!

Are You Beating Yourself Up For Not Being Perfect? Look Out for Double Trouble!

We all do it, what I call "Double Trouble." We trouble ourselves unnecessarily. If you want to learn how to feel better, keep reading, because I will teach you how you can feel better today. Step by step.

Maybe this is you? Let’s say, you’ve been procrastinating <insert your unproductive habit here>. And on top of that, you’re beating yourself up FOR procrastinating.

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Who Makes You Feel Angry or Upset Regularly?

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Who Makes You Feel Angry or Upset Regularly?

Think about what happens when someone makes you so angry. Such as, he was late when he said he’d be on time or she had a girls night and didn’t invite you or he didn’t pick up the groceries you asked him to pick up twice, etc.

You avoid them, snap at them, give them a piece of your mind, tell them it’s their fault, you take some action driven by your frustration. Your behavior is reasonable, right? I’m sorry, no, wrong.

Expecting another person to deal with your feelings is not you dealing with your own feelings.

Who Has the Power To Make You Happy?

Who Has the Power To Make You Happy?

Without realizing it, so many of us are putting expectations on someone else to make us happy. Most women I know struggle with this at some point or another in their lives. Whether it’s with their partner, best friend, child, the clerk at the grocery store, the guy who didn’t hold the door open for you, or the boss that didn’t give you the recognition you deserve, there is a tendency to put our ability to feel good in the hands of someone else.

What's the Real Reason You're So Busy?

What's the Real Reason You're So Busy?

Consider for a minute the idea that busyness for many of us busyaholics IS our coping mechanism.

Slowing down is hard, and I don't mean, emptying your schedule to make time for nothing (though I highly encourage that too), I mean for a lot of us, busyness lets us put our minds and energy towards creating or solving puzzles we feel more comfortable with. Oh they can be annoying, difficult and time sucking, absolutely, but the act of putting our energy towards solving them does serve to put our attention elsewhere.

Ooooh the Attraction of Shiny Things

Ooooh the Attraction of Shiny Things

Do you have a clear “to-do” list that you’re always behind on?

If you’re a creative type, like me, likely you have many great aspirations across your life, and what you tend to do is prioritize your actions, without clarifying your priorities. I know, this sounds like the old “who’s on first” skit from Abbot and Costello, but stick with me.